People ask me if I get depressed on Valentine’s Day. They think that just because I don’t have a wife that I must be depressed.
Well, being single doesn’t bother me at all. I don’t need a woman to make me feel loved. I’m loved all over the world.
I’ve thought about getting married in the past, but now I shudder at the thought. I can’t deal with a nagging wife.
Imagine that I have to go to Africa to perform a miracle and save someone from death. But then my wife gets upset that I’m leaving on a business trip again.
Do you think I’m going to let someone die because my wife wants me at home?
I don’t think so. I’d probably end up slamming the front door and telling her that we’ll talk about it when I get home.
This, no doubt, will get her upset and she’ll make some sly comment about how everyone thinks that I’m so holy, but I’m really an unloving husband.
That type of comment will get me really upset.
At that point, I’ll probably tell her that if she says a word of this to anyone I’ll excommunicate her and make sure she stays in purgatory for a very long time.
And that’s not a kind of home life I want. I prefer living the life of a bachelor.