Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Waiting for Gouda

There’s nothing more upsetting than opening up a good bottle of merlot and realizing you don’t have any good cheese to enjoy it with.

I had a bit of brie in my fridge, but I was really in the mood for some smoked gouda.

I thought, by chance, my servant might have accidentally put the gouda in my fruit bin by accident, so I got on my knees and shuffled through the bottom of my fridge. I searched all over the place, but couldn’t find anything acceptable.

It was during that mad moment of searching for smoked gouda when I realized what people addicted to drugs must feel like. You not only want the drug (or gouda), but you’ll do anything to get it.

I said a short prayer to quell my hungry mind, and decided the humble route would be to just eat the brie.

Such is the life of the humble.

18 Comments:

Blogger Abandoned in Pasadena said...

Nothing like starting out the morning with a good belly laugh.
Maybe your handsome assistant will find you some gouda later your holiness.

I have such a hard time typing when I can't stop laughing at your post...even the last line is a kicker.

8/30/2006 1:54 PM  
Blogger Tan Lucy Pez said...

Your Holiness, I could only hope to be as humble as your humble self. Eating brie, and trying to be happy about it. You are the master.

8/30/2006 6:12 PM  
Blogger Tan Lucy Pez said...

BTW, please be careful when on your knees. There are priests there you know.

8/30/2006 6:13 PM  
Blogger Deacon John said...

Holy Father: good thing your 'servants' like you or they could have knocked you over with some Trappist Monks limburger!
"Martian mice landed on earth and said: 'Take us to your Liederkranz!' " was an old New York joke we grew up with. Keep us laughing . . . I always knew the Lord had a sense of humor . . .

8/30/2006 8:28 PM  
Blogger Elizabeth Green said...

I don't know, your Holiness. Humble is more heavenly, but I say that life is too short to settle for anything less than a good smoked gouda. Love the title of this, BTW. Gotta have a good laugh at that.

8/31/2006 2:27 AM  
Blogger Pope Benedict XVI said...

It's easy for me to stay humble. It's another thing to control my waistline.

8/31/2006 5:36 AM  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Good to see you are still alive! You spent a very long time repenting and such, I thought you had forgotten about this blog.

And sell your Escalade, some artifacts and trinkets, and buy a POPE YACHT! Let me know if you need a skipper.

8/31/2006 5:36 AM  
Blogger LaineyWorld said...

Dear Mr. Pope,
I feel your pain and frustration. One of my favorite snacks is smoked gouda with Gala apple slices and rye crisps. I admire your humbleness, but have to wonder if the brie quelled your craving?
The Pagan

8/31/2006 5:53 AM  
Blogger Trudging said...

Oh Joe, your insight is amazing.

8/31/2006 3:00 PM  
Blogger foodiechickie said...

Mmmm cheese my favorite food and worst enemy.

9/01/2006 1:31 PM  
Blogger Morgana Anakina Black said...

It is funny how much you resemble my 2 dogs. They are super super super addicted to smoked gouda.

I don't know about people on drugs, but dogs addicted to smoked gouda coulda take a bite out of crime.

Beware ..........
Rotcel Caballero
a.k.a. Morgana Ann.Black

9/02/2006 1:05 AM  
Blogger Gary said...

Someday this parable will save many souls. The Pope and the Gouda...

Very gouda papa!

9/13/2006 10:24 PM  
Blogger Mr. Pink said...

All this talk of merlot and gouda and gala apples is making me thirsty and hungry.... Pass the wafers, will ya?

9/24/2006 4:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

On your knees for Cheese? Just you wait a minute. Let me process this need for milk products gone vintage. God is Love

9/26/2006 5:44 AM  
Anonymous peter said...

to all you who follow belive worship this wanker grow a brain read the bible and find out who this guy really is and represents. it aint GOD.do you need to be reminded what our lord told us and warns us of THE ANTICHRIST! THE LIAR! THE FALSE WITTNESS! this is him in the flesh.people wake up and see the liar before you heed the warning pick up a bible and discover the truth before it's too late GOD'S LAST CALL!

11/06/2006 2:05 AM  
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