Friday, June 03, 2005

Papal Infallibility & Wite Out

liquid paper

I have a little bottle of liquid paper in my desk drawer, but I have no idea when I’ll ever use it.

Back in the day--before computers--I would use it to cover my typos. But now that I have papal infallibility (and Microsoft Word), I have no need for it.

In fact, just having it in my desk shows that I’m capable of error. So this is obviously a problem for me. I need to secretly get rid of it without anyone knowing that I ever even had it.

What kind of upsets me is that whoever ordered it for me either wasn’t thinking about my infallibility, or was trying to make me doubt myself. Either way, it's just very upsetting.

What also bugs me is that the person didn’t just buy me the regular bottle of Wite Out, but actually got me the “extra coverage” version. As if he or she expects me to make big mistakes that require the bigger brush.

Look, I don’t need the bigger brush, okay. And I don’t need the “easy glide” version either. I’m the Pope. I’m infallible.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Shame on that person. Do you you use an eraser on your pencils?

6/03/2005 4:18 PM  
Blogger AP3 said...

You are SO right, your worshipfulness. You probably don't need a "back space" button on your computer keyboard, either.

6/03/2005 4:28 PM  
Blogger Stewed Hamm said...

You know, I always used to edit the label on my bottles of Liquid Paper to say "Liquid Pope."
I'm pretty sure there's a market for the genuine article, rather than my cheap knockoff version. Have your people call my people.

6/03/2005 5:42 PM  
Blogger jevanking™ said...

Good point, Aral Pep.

6/03/2005 6:18 PM  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Once you find out who ordered the white-out, you can use it to get even with them! Just write a personal blessing on their car windshield with the white out.

Decree that they must give you 90% of the profits if they sell the car on e-bay.

6/03/2005 7:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why don't you just sniff it? Its gooooooood

6/03/2005 7:42 PM  
Blogger Words are deadly said...

ok, ok, now I know your the pope here, but COME ON! Nobody but jesus christ himself is perfect. I am SURE that even you make mistakes sometimes and need to cover them up with white out. Now maybe the person who got it for you was just trying to be polite and nice to you. You may be the pope- but your still human, which means that you DO make mistakes.

*~I'm a Jesus Freak and proud of it!~*
~Mindy (I love God!!!He Rules!!!)

6/04/2005 2:10 AM  
Blogger GodlessMom said...

Most Holy Father,

I know! You can just use it to give yourself a French manicure/pedicure!

Your Servant,

6/04/2005 4:35 AM  
Blogger Trudging said...

Wite out is a good thing

6/04/2005 9:35 PM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

What gets me is why they don't just call it Wite ON. After all, when you use it, it leaves a stark white mark on the paper that never matches the color of the paper. It isn't really Wite OUT at all. I say don't use it. It's all one big fat lie anyway.

6/06/2005 4:33 PM  
Blogger mixwiz said...

Wite Out works fine with Microsoft Word. It not only corrects the current word, but all future words in the same spot. A real time saver.

Marc - your Ask The Pope blog is a screech. Funniest thing I've seen since Shrub's "Gulags - that's absurd" speech.

6/10/2005 7:30 PM  

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