Monday, May 30, 2005

Famous Forever

People talk about how everyone has his or her “15 minutes of fame.” Well, that’s not true for me. I now have acquired infinite fame. I will be world famous forever (even after I die). And when I die, I’ll probably be even more famous in heaven, so the 15 minute fame rule doesn’t apply to me.

So, here’s some words of advice for anyone who thinks they might be famous:

If you think you might become famous (and you’ll probably never get as famous as me), make sure and keep all your possessions that way you could sell them later for big bucks.

For example, someone sold my old Volkswagen bug for $244,000 U.S. dollars. Imagine if I would have kept that? I could have made a bundle of cash. That was a poor mistake on my part.

And now, someone is selling my old apartment on eBay. I should have kept that apartment as an investment property. I could have used that money to buy a new wardrobe and send whatever money was left over to feed the poor. It could have benefited two worthy causes.

17 Comments:

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

And lets not forget about the phat rims you could have bought for that Escalade. Im talking gold plating with diamond encrusted spinners! Fully iced out. That would be sweet.

And just a reminder - people on the water need to be saved too! Send me the 25 foot power cat cabin cruiser I want, and I will gladly fill the water holding tank with holy water, and bless all who I see using the pressure pump and a hose! Scantly clad chicks will get an extra blessing, with more water. They probably need it.

5/30/2005 7:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The poor you will have with you always.

5/30/2005 8:01 PM  
Anonymous Georg from Bavaria said...

The hose is for sale, not the apartment. The apartment was rented out, it is not a condo. So there was never a buck to be made.

5/30/2005 8:13 PM  
Blogger dAAve said...

Your Holiness

You can sell off your Holy Sceptre now; your followers will replace it without your even asking. That's how you can pay for the new portable vending machine for the Escalade. Shoulda thought of that earlier.

yours in service
HP

5/30/2005 10:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmm, I think this is called making a buck off of you. Make that alot of bucks. Terry

5/31/2005 2:34 AM  
Blogger Tan Lucy Pez said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

5/31/2005 3:15 AM  
Blogger Tan Lucy Pez said...

Tan Lucy Pez said...
Your Holiness:
I have a question: Are you concerned that a person named Betty Bowers is so famous?

According to Google, she is the most popular site on the Internet for "Christian Advice." She has a gift shop also. Might this cut into your sales?

5/31/2005 3:19 AM  
Blogger sidcruise said...

Well it seems Modesty happens to be not your virtue :) ..without doubt you are famous (Pope-ular)....You can sell your clothes after using def, also what about bottles Holy Water !

By the way , Are you clairvoyant ?

5/31/2005 3:33 AM  
Blogger AP3 said...

If you're reading this now, I might already be famous!

5/31/2005 5:01 AM  
Blogger Shiroh said...

Did you have to become pope to be famous and what if the real pope reads what you write,he would poor man be shocked.

5/31/2005 8:16 AM  
Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

Don't throw away your underwear or socks. I think the underwear will be especially valuable.
I assume you wear briefs, but it would be so cool if under the robes you were wearing Spongebob boxers.

5/31/2005 8:27 AM  
Blogger Mr. Cougar said...

damn! those are worthy causes! love ya, Pope!

5/31/2005 8:38 AM  
Blogger Tan Lucy Pez said...

So, boxers or briefs? Inquiring minds want to know.

5/31/2005 1:24 PM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

If you have wear a wife-beater underneath the robes, can you save that one for me? I figure you must cuz you're in Italy and I don't think they sell the other style of undershirts there.

5/31/2005 2:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pope, I love you.

5/31/2005 6:54 PM  
Blogger Sehbai said...

jamie dawn, why the fascination with an 80 year old man's underwear? You think the holy stains will be worth a lot on ebay???

5/31/2005 9:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good volkswagen logo post!

10/23/2005 6:27 AM  

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