Friday, May 20, 2005

St. Peter's Chair

Bush recently praised me by saying, “[Catholics and non-Catholics] can take heart in the man who sits in the chair of St. Peter.”

I’ll take the praise, but Bush has no idea how uncomfortable that chair is. The thing is rickety and falling apart. Reminds me of my old Ikea furniture. I need to get a nice comfortable recliner. Something I can fall into and sleep in at the end of a long day. St. Peter didn’t have the chair options that I have today.

I also was recently praised by President Bingu wa Mutharika. I considered calling to thank him, but I’m afraid that I’ll mispronounce his name. I guess I’ll just send a card.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Would the real Pope please stand up, I`d like to marry him.

5/20/2005 11:58 PM  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Someone ought to put a big rusty nail on Bush's chair. Then maybe he would get lock-jaw and stop saying stupid things, like "we need a culture of life" right after he says things to promote more war.

Maybe you can bless the fool, and convince him to convert the smart bombs to something more useful to the world? I get scared when the bombs are smarter than the guy who controls them.

5/21/2005 12:44 AM  
Blogger dAAve said...


Recliners are for decliners.
Get a High Chair.

yours, in service

5/21/2005 1:28 AM  
Blogger Trudging said...

Hey Pope,

Try out my new Blog at
I could really use your blessings on this one your Holines T

5/21/2005 1:32 AM  
Blogger GodlessMom said...

Most Holy Father,

Boy you have really joined the ranks of the honored now. Bush praised you? Wow! Now you rank right up there with George Tenet. Bush likes him too!

Your servant,

5/21/2005 2:23 AM  
Blogger actonbell said...

I agree with the lazy iguana. um, are iguanas lazy, or just being--iguanas?

5/21/2005 2:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

+- doesn`t matter as long as they are catholic.*

5/21/2005 2:59 AM  
Blogger AP3 said...

Have you considered a bean bag chair, your Holiness? I think you might like it.

5/21/2005 3:47 AM  
Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

You know, if you replace some of Bush's words, when he speaks, you may get different results. Maybe you could help him.

For example, instead of praying for a culture of life, he could be mindful (not pray, violates seperation of church and state, sorry papa) of the culture of freedom that we Americans are supposed to have. Novel idea, I know. Less government involvment, but who knows, it might just catch on. Are you came your Holiness?
Please post moreoften!

5/21/2005 6:15 AM  
Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

Oh...forgot to give some recognition to President Mutharika.

You know, I do beleive this Pope did serve God since his youth, but when I hear about his youth, I cannot forget about the Pope's membership in the Hitler Youth Group. Does that count,your Holiness? I mean would you deem that the service that President Bingu was referrring to in any way.

Correction: Above post should read, are you 'game' not 'came' (too many of these sex sandals are clouding my thinking, sorry.)

5/21/2005 6:21 AM  
Blogger jevanking™ said...

That's so true about Ikea furniture. Good observation, Pope.

5/21/2005 7:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've always wondered about the phrase "The Holy See." Now I get it! It's the Holy SEAT. Bless me, Father, for I have sinned and I LIKED it.

5/21/2005 8:57 AM  
Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

Since you seem to be on Mr.Bush's good side, a small request please.

I read in this morning's paper, that Bush has threatened to veto funding for stem cell research.

Could you please tell Mr. Bush to stop being a bully? It is unbecomming and not Christan, either.

5/21/2005 3:20 PM  
Blogger WinterWheat said...

Hi Benedict,

May I recommend the La-Z-Boy Back Jack? It's a portable cushioned seat that converts from a chair with a high back (so you can sit upright) to a reclining support with a pillow (so you can lie back and relax). Great for picnics and fireworks shows. I suggest you get the extra large size.


5/21/2005 3:48 PM  
Anonymous Andrea said...

Sorry to be rude... but is this for real? Are you really the current Pope?

5/21/2005 6:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

No. It is not the current pope, not the previous one and not the coming one.

5/21/2005 7:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Barbara from California -

You need to chill out. Bush bashing all the time gets a bit tedious.

5/21/2005 7:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good popes go to heaven, bad popes go everywhere.

5/21/2005 8:30 PM  
Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...


You must be a fan of mine to notice!

thank you, I don't want to become tedious ever.

5/21/2005 8:46 PM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

This leads me to wonder what sort of chair you use while posting, His holiness? I'd hate to have to picture you in one of those new fangled ergonomic computer chairs that make you kneel and lean on an armrest; they look a little obscene. Then again, you're probably accustomed to kneeling a great deal.
Hey, can you do anything about making the church pew kneelers more comfy? They used to kill my knees. In fact, I think all Catholics get bad knees by the time they hit 40 because of those things.

5/23/2005 12:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Help! I am lost. I was searching for office furniture supply computer desk and somehow ended up here. How that happened I don't know, however I do like your Blog a lot. Would you mind if I add your Blog to my favorites page so others can visit?

10/04/2005 9:58 PM  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home