Et Tu, Georg?

My brother, Georg Ratzinger, supposedly told The Bild Newspaper that he’s concerned about my health. Quoth the Ratz:

“And health-wise, he's no longer the most robust. His heart! Such a man should really not have such a burden put on him."

I appreciate his concern, but I think you should be aware of his jealousy. He never wanted me to be Pope. They interviewed him when I was first nominated, and he immediately told them that I wouldn’t be a good Pope because I’d probably die within a year or two.

Little did he know that they were looking to hire a short-term Pope anyway, so I got the job. I know I may not be around very long, but it annoys me that my brother seeks publicity by speaking about my health. He’s a ratz. A real ratz.