Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Et Tu, Georg?

My brother, Georg Ratzinger, supposedly told The Bild Newspaper that he’s concerned about my health. Quoth the Ratz:

“And health-wise, he's no longer the most robust. His heart! Such a man should really not have such a burden put on him."

I appreciate his concern, but I think you should be aware of his jealousy. He never wanted me to be Pope. They interviewed him when I was first nominated, and he immediately told them that I wouldn’t be a good Pope because I’d probably die within a year or two.

Little did he know that they were looking to hire a short-term Pope anyway, so I got the job. I know I may not be around very long, but it annoys me that my brother seeks publicity by speaking about my health. He’s a ratz. A real ratz.


Blogger Grace said...

I bet he used to steal your toys and get the biggest helping at the dinner table when you were children. Sibling rivalry, it never ends!

5/11/2005 7:43 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

Ahh siblings are always like that. Don't take it too personally, Pope. Send him to purgatory!

5/11/2005 8:16 PM  
Blogger Ben Lowery said...

How long are you going to keep this up?

5/11/2005 8:19 PM  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

George Burns made it to 100, and he smoked! Of course, he did play God in a movie, maybe that had something to do with it.

Then again, he played the devil once too. you would think that cancels out his role as God - but seeing as how he played God two or three times and the devil only once.....

The advanced theology makes my heathen head spin, kind of like Linda Blair in The Exorcist. Only in my case, there is no stream of pea soup green puke.

5/11/2005 9:15 PM  
Blogger Anna said...

Aw, it's ok, Popie. I'm sure you'll be around for a good, long time. Don't you worry your pretty little head.

5/11/2005 9:20 PM  
Blogger AP3 said...

Who will carry on your Blog when you're gone?

5/11/2005 9:35 PM  
Blogger Thister said...

The next pope, of course!

5/11/2005 10:14 PM  
Blogger Trudging said...

What can I say, families can be difficult

5/12/2005 12:20 AM  
Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

Sibling rivalry...such a sin.

5/12/2005 1:08 AM  
Blogger GodlessMom said...

Most Holy Father,

I bet he is feeling inadequate and isolated. It is difficult to live in the shadow of a successful sibling.

You can get back at him by living until you're 100!

Your Servant,

5/12/2005 1:19 AM  
Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

You may decide, after some time, that your brother is doing you a favor afterall.

All will unfold with time.

By the way, I miss your presence at my blog! It must be the penis jokes!

5/12/2005 2:11 AM  
Blogger Indianrunner12 said...

Your a ratz too, oh holiness!

5/12/2005 4:18 AM  
Blogger bschneider5 said...

Do you think it could be penis envy? Bradsblog

5/12/2005 4:36 AM  
Blogger Tan Lucy Pez said...

When I read your brother's comments, I knew right away he was just jealous as hell. Oh, oops, sorry about the "hell."

5/12/2005 5:46 AM  
Blogger spaazlicious said...

You should give him one of these.

In the Christian spirit, and all that sh!t.

5/12/2005 6:57 AM  
Blogger stewbie2 said...

Any commentary on your new beer advertisment?

5/12/2005 3:15 PM  
Blogger doer said...

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10/12/2005 11:27 PM  

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