Concerning PowerPoint Presentations
One of the Cardinals gave a PowerPoint presentation to us today. He used a bunch of really tacky slide transitions and sound effects. It drove me nuts. I cringed every time he clicked the mouse. He also used the worst color palette imaginable: pink text over a blue background. The guy must be color-blind. It hurt my eyes to even look at the screen.
The Cardinal also seemed to enjoy using the “typewriter” animation effect. You know, where the words slowly type on the screen. It’s like torture waiting for these long paragraphs to slowly appear.
Whoever developed the “typewriter” effect on PowerPoint deserves purgatory for at least 200 years. I mean, is that effect really necessary?
I don’t care how many “Hail Mary” prayers that Microsoft programmer says. He or She will spend at least 200 years in purgatory if I have anything to do with it. And I do. Believe that.
The Cardinal also seemed to enjoy using the “typewriter” animation effect. You know, where the words slowly type on the screen. It’s like torture waiting for these long paragraphs to slowly appear.
Whoever developed the “typewriter” effect on PowerPoint deserves purgatory for at least 200 years. I mean, is that effect really necessary?
I don’t care how many “Hail Mary” prayers that Microsoft programmer says. He or She will spend at least 200 years in purgatory if I have anything to do with it. And I do. Believe that.
posted by admin | 4:35 PM
13 Comments:
I have no doubt that the paperwork for such an order will be filled out using MS Word. Hypocracy fits the Church pretty well though.
I don't mind the typewriter effect for the title, for a word or two, but you are right, an entire paragraph? and that sound it makes? very irritating. reminds me of my college days :)
Maybe you can offer a course in Powerpoint, I'm sure there would be a lot of interest.
K
I could not agree more.
thanks for visiting my blog, your holiness. i agree, the typewriter effect should be banned, along with the pinwheel transition. that thing pisses me off!
If you ask me, purgatory is too good for the creators of PowerPoint...they really need to end up in at least the third or fourth ring of hell. Well, whatever the one is that you have to stand in feces for eternity.
That would be equal retribution. XD
Amen, Allen.
I should fly you in to give our Cardinals a lesson in PowerPoint.
http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_zdewk/is_200312/ai_n9513612#continue
read this link dear Pope B - can you believe David Byrne (famous from the Talking Heads) did this? Read further, I think you can hang w. Edward Tufte - maybe fly that dude in to the V.
T in SF
Screw 'em all! Show them some PowerPope.
I would expect any Cardinal's presentation to be dull. I'd be pleasantly surprised to actually enjoy it or find it cutting edge or even interesting.
You have the power to change things.
"Help them Obi Ben Kenobi; you're their only hope."
Sorry, I've got Star Wars fever.
Next time your holiness needs to pelt the offending cardinal with stale vending machine foods. This will be your subtile hint that the presentation sucks.
You can also cause your cell phone to ring, claim it is god and then leave the room to take the "important call". Spend the rest of your day crusing Rome in your Escalade.
Isn't there a prayer you can say in Vatican Square that will put a secret "jinx" on Microsoft? Why not combine the 16 (or so) languages you know into one sentence - we'll never know...
when one of the presenters come, do what we all do - sleep. alternatives exist- drop your glass on the ground, release a cockroach or how about a snake!?
I dont' belive there is a thing as pergatory. I belive if you belive in God as your savior and that he has forgiven your sins when you die you will go straight to heaven. You won't need anybody to pray you out of Pergatory.
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