Sunday, May 15, 2005

Papal Interview: Part Deux (excerpt)

Vatican H.R. Department:
Tell me one of your strengths?

That’s a tough one.

If I was forced to pick one strength, I’d have to say it’s my humility. I am a very humble person. Ask anyone. I always put others in front of myself—especially women and children.

For example, if there was a fire in this building, I would make sure that all the women and children could escape first.

Well—actually--after me. The elderly [Ratzinger points to himself] should escape first because we’re a bit slower. And, as Pope, I'd definitely need to exit first. It wouldn't look good if the Pope died in a fire in the Vatican.

But the women and children should be right behind me. And I’d imagine they would be pushing me in some sort of wheel chair if possible—to sort of quicken the process.

Vatican H.R. Department:
Tell me one of your weaknesses?

Vending Machine food.


Blogger Words are deadly said...

I Love vending machine food! It is sooo yummy!!!!! I mean it might be bad for me- but hey, it rocks! ha ha ha.

Hey, would someone here mind takeing a look and commenting on my site? it is at
I would totally apreciate the comments. I would like to get a wide view on what other people think of what I have said on the site. So feel free to browse it and comment.

~God Bless~

5/15/2005 7:12 PM  
Blogger A.T. said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

5/15/2005 7:32 PM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

His holiness,
I had a horrible dream the other night that those snowballs you speak of in the vending machines were put there by Lucifer to tempt humbler-than-thou children of God. Now I read this! I'm just sick about it I tell you. Sick.
In all honesty, none of my other wacked out dreams ever came true, but sheesh what if this one does? Oh the horror.

5/15/2005 7:40 PM  
Blogger dAAve said...

I know what you mean.

I discovered a piece of junk mail on my door mat. I carried the item away from the front door and held it above the waste paper basket. I opened my hand, thereby allowing the piece of junk mail to fall into the basket.

5/15/2005 8:14 PM  
Blogger MJ said...

heheh :)

Pope Joe, mayb the ppl would carry u by hand or grab ur robe 2 save u

5/15/2005 8:30 PM  
Blogger Josh said...

vending machine food kicks @$$ and it is easy to use, yould think a person of your stature would not have problems with it!!!

5/15/2005 8:37 PM  
Blogger Tan Lucy Pez said...

Of course you should be saved first. But then you ARE SAVED. If you're not saved, then who is? I'm sure that your holiness is not concerned with the physical, right? Oh! you say you did mean your physical self should be saved first? oKayeeee.

5/15/2005 9:46 PM  
Blogger Mitch said...

what would you say to the weekness of insecurity?

5/15/2005 11:37 PM  
Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

Humility is a character trait not easily achieved. Pride comes before a fall, as you well know. A fall would cause an old man like you to break a hip, so in your wisdom, you rid yourself of the sin of pride. Your humility not only helped you become Pope, but it also may spare you a broken hip.

5/16/2005 4:29 AM  
Blogger jamwall said...

hey're a must like beer right??? hey man lets hang out bro!!!

5/16/2005 4:48 AM  
Blogger GodlessMom said...

Most Holy Father, Humility is highly overrated. Vending machine food is not.

5/16/2005 4:49 AM  
Blogger Thister said...

Here, here! Bring on the vending machine food!

5/16/2005 10:53 AM  
Blogger dddragon said...

Your Holiness, can you bless the calories, fats and carbs out of a vending machine?

Also, if you get something out of the vending machine and no one is around to see you, does it count?

5/16/2005 1:47 PM  
Blogger Neha said...

So is the HR dept now taking care that you get a vending machine in ure office as the papal emplyment package/benefits.. ?

5/16/2005 5:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would make sure you got out first, then make sure the women and children retrieve the papal vending machine before proceeding out of the Vatican. I think melted snowballs and gummybears would be a terrible mess.

5/16/2005 5:29 PM  
Blogger Anna said...

Is anyone else thinking of the Seinfeld episode with George & the fire at the kid's birthday party? Oh, good, good stuff!

5/16/2005 8:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like the Popeblog better!

5/16/2005 9:36 PM  
Blogger Zen|th said...

I have a weakness for vending machine food too.

5/16/2005 11:08 PM  
Blogger AP3 said...

Dear Holy One Kenobi,

You ARE indeed humble. Hey, are you looking forward to the new Star Wars movie? Who is your favorite Star Wars character?

5/17/2005 12:19 AM  
Anonymous Georg from Bavaria said...

I like the real Pope better.

5/17/2005 12:29 AM  
Blogger actonbell said...

Oh lord, it's hard to be humble...but we're doin' the best that we can...the vending machine where I work has M&M cookies, dorritos, peanut M&Ms, Snickers bars, and pastries. And I totally ignored it today. But I'm humble about it, of course.

5/17/2005 12:39 AM  
Blogger FB said...

Don't stop!!! This is the best blog EVER!!!! Thank You Pope!!! I hope your sticker sales are high. Then maybe you could afford to fill your vending machines with even tastier treats. Maybe like a vending machine that dispenses Brie or Gyros....yummm.

God Bless You Holy Father,


5/17/2005 6:41 AM  
Blogger jevanking™ said...


I think you should consider an escape hatch--you know like the one Mr. Burns has on the Simpsons. It could blast you far away and you would land safely because there would be a parachute to soften your landing.

5/17/2005 7:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Funny site! Check out this posting by Chris Brauer for another amusing take on the emergence of the Pope with some decent history as well.

5/17/2005 12:59 PM  
Blogger bschneider5 said...

I agree. I think the pope should always be first. Whether it be escaping from the blazing vatican, or in the cafeteria lunch line. Pope goes first....Bradsblog

5/17/2005 2:52 PM  
Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

Just a thought:

You could be a spokesperson for starting a vending machine trend at the Vatican. Think of how it would take jobs away from people. For example, one could purchase those Pope pez despensers, and you could maybe inquire about having a cupcake company come up with a new item, with your picture on the label.

Oh the endless possibilities!!!

5/17/2005 5:55 PM  

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