Thursday, May 26, 2005

Business Ethics

At the Vatican, we’re not about money like other “big businesses.” We’re about saving souls.

Sure, the old Popes in the medieval ages were a bit greedy. But, not me; I’m more interested in your eternal destiny.

And bribery doesn’t work with me. Just because you send me 1,000 U.S. dollars doesn’t mean I will get your dead relative or friend out of purgatory, or hell for that matter. I will not compromise my business or religious ethics for money.

Besides, I’m worth more than that. My speaking fee alone is 5000 U.S. dollars per hour. And my agent thinks I can get more.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

The only thing you have got to peddle is believe.

5/26/2005 11:53 PM  
Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

And you're worth every penny.

I hope you succeed in saving many, many souls.
Send any of the money and gifts you forego my way, please. I'm already saved and could use the benefits of a little greed. Thanks, Your Holiness.

5/27/2005 12:22 AM  
Blogger jevanking™ said...

Only US$5000?

5/27/2005 12:37 AM  
Blogger K'vitsh said...

I'm protestant/athiest/jewish-wannabe. Can I have a discount? Or would I have to pay more?

5/27/2005 1:16 AM  
Blogger dAAve said...

Your Holiness

How much would we need to come up with to make sure that you are not replaced when you die? Of course, we all know that you're irreplaceable. That's why. Yeah, that's why.

yours in service

5/27/2005 1:20 AM  
Blogger actonbell said...

who's your agent?

5/27/2005 1:44 AM  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

The church can not be considered a business - it pays no taxes!

Of course if it were a business, how could it prove what it sells? The Federal Trade Comission would bring it down for false advertising :)

5/27/2005 4:33 AM  
Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

You should definitely think about raising your costs! Materialism is in in today's world. Definitely not overrated like cars or bars of soap!

By the way: I have some provocative posts on Jesus on my blog, and I would very, very much welcome your holy opinion.

5/27/2005 5:28 AM  
Blogger AP3 said...

What can I get for $43.75?

5/27/2005 5:54 AM  
Blogger Trudging said...

So just what do we get for the $5,000 an hour. Power Point? Magic Tricks? Ballons?

5/27/2005 9:06 AM  
Anonymous George Bush said...

hey ya big fat old bald man!!!!
ure sho shweet cutchie cutchie coo
i think u will be able to extend new relationships bw The US and vatican! We hope to recieve great response from you. and i think we both can enjoy sm great jacuzzi baths and ding dongs.... and dances by ashlee simpson!!
yours sincerely
George Bush (King of the lambs)

5/27/2005 12:01 PM  
Blogger Tan Lucy Pez said...

What if I promise to be a good girl? Would you get a dead relative out of purgatory for me? Just asking. Probably the relative in question is already in hell.

Hey! can you get a soul out of HELL? Now that would be worth the big bucks...not that you or the church care about money.

5/27/2005 2:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Agent must be Jerry McGuire.


5/27/2005 4:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dark Middle Ages

5/27/2005 5:12 PM  
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10/25/2005 5:55 PM  

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