My First Book Deal
Two people arrived from Penguin Putnam to give me a book deal. They wanted me to write a book about (1) America’s invasion of Iraq, (2) my belief about women in the church, and (3) the homosexual movement in Catholicism. They think it will be a bestseller.
I told them that I didn’t feel comfortable writing about such controversial issues. Instead, I told them that I have already begun writing a book about weight loss. I’m calling it ”The Vatican Diet.” It shows the importance of drinking red wine on a daily basis, eating plenty of vegetables, and staying on a low-carb, high-protein diet. I even allow people to “cheat” on their diets once a week by eating vending machine food.
I think people will love it.
posted by admin | 7:21 PM
17 Comments:
Sir
The Penguin book could be better.
The story line would go something like:
America invaded Iraq in order to convert all the Muslims to Catholic homosexuals who worship women priests. Please include all of their trials and tribulations. The Vatican Diet could be the final chapter.
yours in service
HP
Dick Cheny is really the Penguin from Batman. And speaking of penguins, check out the trailer for March of the Penguins
http://www.apple.com/trailers/warner_independent_pictures/marchofthepenguins.html
Most Holy Father,
I would do anything to have a body like yours. I think the diet book is an excellent idea! Will you include your exercise plan too?
Your Servant,
GodlessMom
Plain crazy
LOL... Sounds like a politically correct best seller to me.
Besides, originality can never be underestimated. Everyone practically has weighed in on the invasion of Iraq, women in the church and homexuality. This would be truly novel.
Your Holiness:
Are you going on Oprah?
Love,
Mr. HK
(Sorry for the "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go" earworm from my blog, Your Worshipfulness.)
The book sounds like a great idea. And with your hot bod', clearly your diet must work.
But couldn't the Penguin Putnam book work out if Your Holiness wrote about an American Catholic lesbian who invaded Iraq? She gets drunk daily on red wine, because she can't find any french fries and this depresses her. She eats a lot of meat because she stumbles onto a pig farm, and surprise! She loses weight. I really can see this plot as a big sucess. Hollywood would be after you then.
Sorry about misspelling Success! Sigh. Can your Holiness please forgive me?
P.H.O.N.E.Y.
Dear Pope,
I surely hope you will do a book tour - will you kindly sprinkle my book copy w. your holy water and sugn my book too? Hey while you're at at, maybe you can be like Wolfgang Puck and start your own food line. Terry
I'm convinced that a food line is for you. Hmmm, Benedict's Gourmet something...
Will this new book be able to compete with the current market of diet books? What makes your's special and different from all the other books?
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Thister,
My book is different from all the rest. Not only do I provide amazing diet tips (not found in your typcial diet books), but I also provide ways to gain holiness.
I'm going to have a coupon in the back of the book to excuse anyone from 100 hail Marys. Just give it to your priest and he'll have to excuse you.
That's a brilliant idea and much needed wisdom in an age of diet pills and anorexia.
Bravo, great page related to weight loss plateau, hope you get a chance to visit mine about weight loss plateau
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