Friday, July 22, 2005

My Papal Uniform

garden pic
Originally uploaded by Joseph Ratzinger.
One of the main difficulties about being Pope (aside from dealing with world poverty) is the time it takes for me to undress just so that I can use the restroom. It’s freakin’ ridiculous.

I have to take off three layers of clothes, and then neatly hang everything up in my stall. The whole process takes about 5 minutes to undress and another 10 minutes to put the clothes back on properly.

This is especially troublesome for me since I have a small bladder.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

There's no "pope-hole" for a quick pee-pee?


7/22/2005 6:58 PM  
Anonymous Gordy said...

Or better still, go enlarge your bladder. (If it's not fouling any Vatican rule, that is) =)

7/22/2005 7:09 PM  
Blogger Cincy Diva said...

I have the same exact problem. Isn't it funny how alike being the Pope and being a female impersonator is? We both wear gowns, we both wear snappy hats, we both like our rings kissed. Have a blessed weekend Your Holiness!

7/22/2005 8:05 PM  
Blogger jamwall said...

three words: "portable pee pouch"

7/22/2005 8:32 PM  
Anonymous Georg said...

This is the first good picture of you!

7/22/2005 11:53 PM  
Blogger dAAve said...

Your Holiness

Get a tube.
Also, invest in some underarm spray deodarant. Oh, those nasty stains.

yours in service

7/23/2005 12:16 AM  
Blogger actonbell said...

Wow, you gotta get there before the need it urgent, huh?

7/23/2005 3:30 AM  
Blogger GodlessMom said...

Most Holy Father,

At least you don't have to wear pantyhose.

Your Servant,

7/23/2005 4:14 AM  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

DEPENDS! Larry King uses them.

7/23/2005 4:15 AM  
Blogger Tan Lucy Pez said...

Your Holiness,

I don't see why you have to take everything off. What do you wear under the robe? Just pick up the skirt and do your thing. What's the problem?

Respectfully yours,

7/23/2005 5:48 AM  
Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

Just lift & do it. Are you wearing a girdle or something?

7/23/2005 7:02 PM  
Blogger Grace said...

I must say you are looking very well in that photo, theres a definite Papal pink glow in your cheeks, radiant if I may say. Getting it all off your chest by blogging seems to be doing you a power of good!

7/23/2005 8:29 PM  
Blogger Saur♥Kraut said...

I'm with Tan Lucy and Jamie Dawn. What is the meaning of the shawl you're wearing in the pic? Doesn't that get hot?

7/24/2005 2:52 PM  
Anonymous sinner said...

So what are all the little buttons on the front of your vestment for?

7/24/2005 5:51 PM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

As someone already mentioned, just hike that puppy up and gitrdone. Women have had to learn to pee in the roadside woods with minimal squattage, you should try the girly method of lift, aim and fire as well. No really, it'll work.

7/25/2005 12:25 PM  
Anonymous The Pagan said...

Dear Mr. Pope,
Is there some Catholic rule that disallows you from wearing a catheter and bag during the day? I'm really not up on all the intricate rules of your Papal office.

7/26/2005 6:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

lol...over time I've learned the benefits of going pantyless for a woman. No long lines. And as a tree hugger, there is a way to do this drip free ...for you may I suggest a portable the kind they use in hospitals or in travel.

3/29/2006 6:56 AM  

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