Monday, July 18, 2005

Hawaiian Shirt Day

When I joined the Vatican several months ago, I implemented an “Employee Comment Box.” This is designed to give my employees a forum to anonymously tell me what they want changed or problems they want addressed.

Someone suggested that we implement a Hawaiian shirt day on Fridays.

I detest Hawaiian shirts. Even though Hawaiian shirts seem to hide my bulging stomach, I can never find a shirt that suits me well. My pasty white skin and flabby arms draw too much attention.

If you have any suggestions for me to improve the working conditions at the Vatican, feel free to comment here. If I like the suggestion, I’ll include it in my upcoming Vatican Employee Newsletter.


Anonymous Martin Luther said...

You could open your precious communion wine cellar to the employees on their birthday. Or maybe a "Use the Escalade for driving the kids to soccer practice" for the demon, er, employee of the month. I tried the wine thing at a church in Wittenberg and they loved it. Actually, what am I helping you for anyway?

7/18/2005 10:05 PM  
Anonymous Invisible Pope said...

I am the real Pope, and here's the straight dope.

First, as the real Pope, I am invisible. So there's no pasty skin involved at all.

Second - well, no, that was really all I have to say at this point.

7/18/2005 10:14 PM  
Blogger K'vitsh said...

Let women be priests one day a month. Have a contest at the end of the year and the chick, I mean, woman, w/ the most votes gets to be Pope-for-a-Day.

7/18/2005 10:28 PM  
Anonymous c.t. said...

Wet t-shirt contests at the church festivals!!!!!!!!!!!

7/18/2005 10:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tell them Hawaiian shirts are OK, as long as they are solid black and for you solid white! They can be made in Hawaii.

7/18/2005 11:07 PM  
Blogger Saur♥Kraut said...

In my company they have jeans day on Fridays. I've never understood that. I mean, so you get to wear jeans; it's the same crappy workplace. I think the same goes for Hawaiin shirts.

However, comparing my workplace with the Vatican is probably like comparing hell with heaven so I suppose it's probably not comparable.

How about something different, like a pet day when you can each bring your (leashed or caged) pets to work? Of course you might have a conflict if someone has allergies...or if the man with the pet mice is in the cubicle next to the man with the tabby cat...

7/19/2005 12:26 AM  
Blogger Annie said...

Our company has free fruit Fridays once a month to promote healthy eating habits. The damned (excuse me) bananas always go first. The apples are last to go.

7/19/2005 12:56 AM  
Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

Installing those fancy toilets like they have in Japan would be a real boost for your employees.
Those toilets have wash and dry settings, as well as warmed seats.
Having a relaxing trip to the toilet will put them in a good mood. No one likes an uncomfortable potty.

7/19/2005 1:34 AM  
Blogger jamwall said...

how about a hawaiian-style pope-robe! covers all unsighly flabbiness!

7/19/2005 2:11 AM  
Blogger Redhead Gal said...

You could just have a "no collar required" day or maybe let everyone wear fancy collars with wild patters, sort of like the tuxedo cummerbunds they have today.
That could be fun and wouldn't show any flab. You could have a Hawaiian print collar.

7/19/2005 4:19 AM  
Blogger Redhead Gal said...

Sorry your holiness. I meant "wild patterns".

7/19/2005 4:19 AM  
Blogger Ale said...

comeon! you just need a bit of a tan and some branded sunglasses and you'll be all good. start out with the sunless tanners (just don't spary the elbows) - you should also do something with the hair to complement the tan... its already kinda silvery- you should help it along with a few high lights to make it more brilliant.

7/19/2005 4:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

get rid of those ancient papal robes! how about muu-muu fridays?

7/19/2005 5:27 AM  
Blogger jamwall said...

you can have various ethnic fridays! have a german day. dress up in leiderhosen. if you prefer you can rename the garmet "poperhosen"

7/19/2005 5:39 AM  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

How about Pina Colada Monday? That ought to improve morale.

7/19/2005 5:53 AM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

How about no-kneel Sunday? Once a month you could eliminate all kneeling during services for Vatican employees. This would save wear and tear on their knees and offer a groovy twist to an old tradition. Besides, all old Catholic people I know have knee problems. I think it's partly from all that stand-sit-kneel crappola that went on four days a month all their lives. The employees would love you all the more if you start a no-kneel Sunday.

7/19/2005 11:26 AM  
Blogger dddragon said...

Have fun contests or activities that go along with all those silly holidays that are being made up all the time.

For example, May 11 is "Eat What You Want" Day. Have cake for breakfast! July 21 is "National Tug-Of-War Tournament" Day. August 13 is "Blame Someone Else" Day.

7/19/2005 2:50 PM  
Blogger Grace said...

How about a 'bring your kids to work' day?......Oh, sorry, that shouldnt apply :-)

7/19/2005 8:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, they should bring their kids to work. There must be quite a few and some can get to know their fathers. How about your kids, pope? They must be around 50 years old?

7/19/2005 10:33 PM  
Blogger Tan Lucy Pez said...

How about Cross-Dress day? You could all dress up like women.

Oh, forget that, you do wear dresses already.

Okay, how about crazy hats day? Umm..not so good, your hats are pretty funny now.

Okay,wear women's underwear day. You don't wear women's underwear NOW, do you?

7/19/2005 11:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

it pretty much covers **t-shirt** related stuff.

10/20/2005 12:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ditto to #1 post...Martin Luther said...You could open up your precious wine cellar to the employees on their birthday and give them a tour or something. Or maybe and "Escalade ride" for the employee of the month. Actually...what am I doing, helping you like this all these months? Only because I was told to. He begged me. Where do I turn in my time card? I don't recall getting paid yet.

3/29/2006 7:15 AM  
Anonymous Mad Gringo said...

Man, where was I 2 years ago when you were asking for help?

I hopa you didn't give up on Hawaiian Shirt Fridays - Vatican life could use a little Aloha!

10/31/2007 5:45 PM  

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