Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Shampoo Problems

Forgive me for not blogging. I’ve been traveling around quite a bit and my laptop’s modem broke. I’m writing this blog right now inside my hotel's business center. The fluorescent lights in here hurt my eyes.

I need to vent. I’m a little upset about the little shampoo bottles inside my hotel’s bathroom. The darn little things aren’t squeezable. I have to stand there in the shower and wait for the shampoo to slowly drain out into my hand. It takes nearly two minutes.

I tried to speed up the process by sticking my pinky finger into the opening of the shampoo bottle, but my finger doesn’t fit. I have stubby little fingers.

It's like waiting for ketchup to come out and not having a French fry to stick in the neck of the bottle to unclog the hole.

31 Comments:

Blogger Redhead Gal said...

Did you try shaking it, your holiness? Or adding a little bit of water from the shower to loosen? You could have blessed the water first, that might have helped.

7/12/2005 5:07 AM  
Blogger Pope Benedict XVI said...

Many blessings to you, redhead gal. I hadn't even thought of adding water. I'll try that tomorrow morning.

7/12/2005 5:10 AM  
Blogger miatower said...

Your Holiness, I have a question. When I am receiving Holy Communion I am always afraid I will choke on it in front of the whole congregation. Any suggestions?

7/12/2005 5:34 AM  
Blogger miatower said...

Oh, and if you smack the open bottle against your palm the shampoo will come right out

7/12/2005 5:37 AM  
Blogger jamwall said...

Your holiness, when you are shaking the shampoo bottle like a bottle of heinz ketchup, do you ever hear the faintest sound of carly simon singing "anticipation?"

7/12/2005 5:46 AM  
Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

Those nasty vending machines are going to add more than extra inches to your fingers, your Holiness! Ding dong, the witch is alive!

7/12/2005 5:46 AM  
Blogger GodlessMom said...

Most Holy Father,

I'm sure the hotel gift shop would sell larger, squeezable bottles of shampoo should the water thing not work.

Your Servant,
GodlessMom

7/12/2005 6:09 AM  
Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

Shake it baby, shake it!
I hate those tiny bottles too.

7/12/2005 6:17 AM  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

I can not believe that the hotel did not provide the friggin POPE with a real bottle of shampoo!

Did they not know that you can cause a tornado to destroy the building!?!?

7/12/2005 7:55 AM  
Blogger Saur♥Kraut said...

What they said.

I would consider bringing my own in the future, Your Holiness. I highly recommend Redken products. I have a friend who owns a hair salon. I'm sure she'd offer to cut your hair as well, but I doubt you'll be in our area any time soon.

7/12/2005 2:22 PM  
Blogger Pope Benedict XVI said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

7/12/2005 3:02 PM  
Blogger Pope Benedict XVI said...

You all have fine suggestions. I actually tried redgal's method this morning. And I'm happy to report the shampoo came right out.

7/12/2005 3:03 PM  
Blogger Anna said...

I bet it's hard to get your hair washed with the little hats you're required to wear for the job. At least you have clean hats!

7/12/2005 3:23 PM  
Blogger jamwall said...

you could cut down on the hairwashing. just get a big hat like father guido sarducci!

7/12/2005 3:30 PM  
Blogger Dave Morris said...

I would think that, being the stylin' Escalade driver you are, you would have gone to the bald look by now.

Shave that dome, Holy Father. SHAVE THAT DOME!

7/12/2005 6:03 PM  
Blogger Saur♥Kraut said...

Your Holiness, on another subject entirely: My son just started his own blog and I was wondering if you'd take a moment to bless it for him.

Any time you could take out of your important schedule would be appreciated.

7/12/2005 8:24 PM  
Blogger Tan Lucy Pez said...

Your Holiness,

I can't believe that God expects you to get the job done without providing a decent laptop modem.

Next time I pray, I will pray for an update to all your equipment...or some words to that effect.

7/12/2005 10:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nothing but trivia?

7/12/2005 11:32 PM  
Anonymous not as anonymous as you are said...

anonymous, what did you expect? Discussions on papal decrees? That's the POINT of this blog. Get a sense of humor...

7/12/2005 11:50 PM  
Blogger A Little Bar of Soap said...

Dear Pope,
Yes, you definitely need a new laptop. And perhaps you should travel with a tube of shampoo, like Prell. That always squeezes right out.

7/13/2005 12:18 AM  
Blogger dddragon said...

Your Holiness:
Surely the Vatican staff has someone who can fix these techie problems. And a personal hairdresser, too!

In fact, you deserve a whole entourage!!

7/13/2005 1:45 AM  
Blogger Anna said...

A tube of shampoo?! What a great idea! Why don't they do that more often?! It could revolutionize the world!

7/13/2005 3:15 PM  
Blogger jamwall said...

care to comment on the public expose' regarding the cat fixation?
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8219384/

7/13/2005 6:22 PM  
Blogger jamwall said...

not to mention your little spat with Harry Potter!

7/13/2005 6:38 PM  
Blogger Pope Benedict XVI said...

Look, I wrote those letters about Harry Potter several years ago. I was just jealous that Harry Potter was selling more books than me.

7/13/2005 8:03 PM  
Blogger Pseudo-intellectual lunatic said...

i feel like dancing

7/13/2005 9:15 PM  
Blogger popsie said...

Did you really write these comments about Harry Potter:
http://www.smh.com.au/news/books/the-popes-letters/2005/07/14/1120934335859.html

7/14/2005 4:30 AM  
Blogger Jay Six said...

The first thing I usually do upon entering the hotel room is turn the shampoo and conditioner bottles upside down. Then when you need it, the shampoo's already in place.

Keep up the good work, Your Holiness!

7/14/2005 8:18 AM  
Blogger Roxi11 said...

Morgana thinks you should try the miracle of the breads and the fish on bottles of shampoo. Probably you would need more than one anyway....
And by the way,you rock your holiness,we could rule the world against the gay-blood boys!!!

7/19/2005 12:13 AM  
Blogger Pink Lemonade Diva said...

new here. This is hysterical. I don't recommend watering it down, either. The shampoo and water don't even mix, so you think you're being really smart, when actually you're just left with a puddle of water and maybe a teeny bit of suds. sorry buddy.

7/21/2005 9:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

“We cannot live for ourselves alone. Our lives are connected by a thousand invisible threads, and along these sympathetic fibers, our actions run as causes and return to us as results.”
- Herman Melville

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10/04/2005 5:08 PM  

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