Gas Station Receipts Never Print
Whenever I fill up my Escalade with gas, I typically use my Vatican Visa
card at the pump. It's a lot easier than going inside the shop and having
to sign autographs for my fans.
When I'm done pumping gas, the digital display on the pump asks, "Would you like a receipt?"
My answer is always the same, so I press the "yes" button.
Nine out of ten times, I'll wait a minute for something to print, but nothing
does. I hear something printing, but there's obviously no paper in the
machine.
I don't even know why I even bother to try and get a receipt anymore. It's
like a sick joke that gas station attendants play on us.
I thought my luck would change when I became Pope. Obviously, not.
card at the pump. It's a lot easier than going inside the shop and having
to sign autographs for my fans.
When I'm done pumping gas, the digital display on the pump asks, "Would you like a receipt?"
My answer is always the same, so I press the "yes" button.
Nine out of ten times, I'll wait a minute for something to print, but nothing
does. I hear something printing, but there's obviously no paper in the
machine.
I don't even know why I even bother to try and get a receipt anymore. It's
like a sick joke that gas station attendants play on us.
I thought my luck would change when I became Pope. Obviously, not.
posted by admin | 6:32 AM
28 Comments:
Oh Mr. Pope man !!
Don't you know it's ILLEGAL to pump your own gas in Italy ?!
After years of living in Naples I can attest that it's true...
Someone is clearly playing a dirty rotten pope trick on you. They have cameras at the pumps you know. They are sitting in a back room somewhere laughing at the look of disdain and horror on your face when the receipt never pops out. You should report them ~ those wretched candid-camera-spying-gas-hoarding-subservients.
I hate when you have to pay for air. Try getting a receipt for that.
Your the Pope, can't You do something about it.
Leviticus 19:28 Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the Lord.
I hate that, too. Especially when the DH then asks for them and I have to say it didn't print. Of COURSE they always print for HIM.
You shouldn't be driving yourself around. Your the Pope for crying outloud, have a minion of yours do that.
--God Speed
You shouldn't be pumping your own gas either.
--Double God Speed
I hate recipts. They just serve as a reminder of how much I paid for something. Gas recipts are the worst. I hate them the most.
Psst! It's true that you don't get to pump your own gas in Italy.
Holy father, I think that you should ask the GUY UPSTAIRS to smite the gas pump if it doesn't give you the receipt. Just sayin'
But you're not bitter. And that's what's good.
Isn't that something? Someone's trying to mess w. your mind - is it being the Pope or is it the Escalade?
The tedium of daily living can definitely get to anyone!!
Pope! Where are you?!? I've needed your sublime guidance this weekend! Come back, come back, we miss you already!
Are you on one of those Sabbatical things? You'd best return soon or your flock may begin to stray and do bad things.
I hope you haven't taken ill like your predecessor. I don't know if I could stand another pope-funeral-show on TV this soon.
I know what you mean. I keep all my receipts. I like to know how much gas I use and how much I spend every month on things like that.
Good thing you have your pope-visa, you can track everything from there. Hey, check your online banking too... sometimes they use scanners for stealing your visa number, and wouldn't that be scary in the wrong hands!
K
I am glad to see that the Pope is not posting. Herhaps he is busy becoming a true, Protestant Christian.
Courtney, above, is absolutely right on the money!
You should go and bless her humble blog.
Must be in the hospital. He is too old.
Hey Popesy, if you're thinking of closing up shop here, can you let us just take over and have turns running it pretending to be you? Oh wait. That'd never work... um, or would it? Hm. Nevermind. Just hurry back.
Indianrunner12, you dope. Glad you graduated 8th grade to figure that one out.
Someone's gonna get smited! Or maybe he'll ask the Lord to go old school and break out the pillar of salt.
I'm for the salt, myself.
As in pour salt and watch 'em dissolve?
As for me, hallelujah, my gas receipt printed today!!
Most Holy Father, where art thou?
Your fans miss you.
Please write to us and tell us you're well.
Indianrunner ~ (GASP) WHAT? You mean this ISN'T the real Pope? Cut ... it ... OUT. How do you explain the fact that the URL to this site came to me in the night during a dream, complete with angels blowing horns, bright lights and lofty clouds, sweet smelling roses in colors the likes of which neither you nor your spelling teacher could ever imagine, on a parchment scroll? There it was, the simple phrase http://askthepope.blogspot.com
This HAS to be the real deal. It simply HAS to be.
Haha! That's funny! ;)
Pope! Dont you drive around in the Pope Mobile?
Nice goin', Scoob! Another mystery solved. And he would've gotten away with it if it weren't for those pesky kids. Off to the Mystery Machine!
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