Tuesday, June 07, 2005


On my way to a meeting yesterday, an eager reporter shoved a microphone in my face. Here’s the transcript:

Pope Joe:
“Chill out, I’m not Jesus.”

“Yes, but you do speak for him, don’t you?”

Pope Joe:
“Well, yeah—sometimes. Ex Cathedra. When I speak from the throne of God. It’s Latin. Not sure when it happens, but it does . . .”

“Well, now is one of those times. I want to know what God says about the situation in Iraq.”

Pope Joe:
“Okay, are you ready?”


Pope Joe:
“Shouldn’t you have a pen and notebook or something. Don’t want to miss a word—-a jot or tittle.”

“I don’t need a notebook. I can record everything on this mp3 recorder—and then release it on the internet as a podcast—or in your case a popecast.”

Pope Joe:
“My voice will go in that little thing.”

“Yeah, it will record it and then I can post it on the internet for various news feeds to get to it.”

Pope Joe:
“Pretty cool. Only the best technology for the new pope. Too bad Moses didn’t have one of those. Could have sent a popecast to the Pharaoh: Let my people go. Would have been a lot safer.”


Blogger dayna said...

These posts make me laugh off and on all bloody day. Great job.

6/07/2005 6:42 PM  
Blogger Sehbai said...

so what answer did you give the reporter about Iraq? Don't be all polically correct and sidestep the issue now, we know J.P. made his views clear and even scolded Bush

6/07/2005 7:43 PM  
Blogger Tan Lucy Pez said...

Hey! You left us hanging here. What did you say?

Oh, sorry, I mean, Most Holy Father, please enlighten the masses with your words of wisdom.

6/08/2005 12:09 AM  
Blogger Indianrunner12 said...


6/08/2005 2:54 AM  
Blogger jevanking™ said...

About Iraq?

6/08/2005 6:21 AM  
Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

You got a little sidetracked didn't you?
Your voice could be altered to sound like Darth Vader or Kermit or Phyllis Diller. I'd love to hear you give a message with voice distortion to sound like Ben Stein.

6/08/2005 11:15 AM  
Blogger GodlessMom said...

Most Holy Father,

Technology is indeed a wonderful thing. I'm sure you will enlighten us with your world views when the time is right. Perhaps we are not yet ready.

Your Servant,

6/08/2005 12:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hell hell! most amazing blog!

6/08/2005 1:48 PM  
Blogger mireille said...

Not a jot or a tittle ... you divine sidestepper, you!

6/08/2005 3:59 PM  
Blogger Susie said...

so, ok, if u r not a big fan of the late and great JP, how come u r trying to beatify him? hmm? yeah, you know it, i read the full story! the people need answers!

6/08/2005 5:47 PM  
Blogger dddragon said...

Speaking of voices, who would play you in a movie, or provide your voice in an animated movie about your life? James Earl Jones? Ben Stein?

6/08/2005 6:38 PM  
Blogger Pope Benedict XVI said...

It's Vatican politics.

6/08/2005 7:30 PM  
Blogger Pope Benedict XVI said...

I always imagined Jerry Stiller doing my voice.

6/08/2005 7:32 PM  
Blogger karoki said...

that was pretty funny dude..good job.

6/15/2005 7:35 AM  
Anonymous Jay said...

Your Holiness:

You have to be teaching from the Bible for ex cathedra to work.

You should give a popecast every week -- a fireside chat. FDR did it so why not! It's good publicity!

2/05/2006 8:53 AM  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home