Wednesday, May 04, 2005

POPE'D

I’m in the middle of interviewing people to be my assistants. They all tell me how great it would be to serve under me. They say it would be an honor--yadda, yadda, yadda.

I imagine they’re all a little intimidated when meeting with me. So I freak them out by not saying anything. I just let them into my office and stare at them.

I don’t say anything and I wait for them to break. The longer they can handle the silence, the better.

This one guy got really uncomfortable after five minutes of silence and started chanting “Hail Mary.” I told him to get out. I told him that I could read his mind and he didn’t deserve to me in my presence. And the guy actually believed me.

He freaked out and started apologizing while backing out of my office. He started to cry.

I then told him to come back inside because I was just playing a joke on him. I told him, he’d been POPE’D (my version of Ashton’s PUNK’D).

You should have seen his face. My camera crew thought it was hilarious.

20 Comments:

Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

This is hysterical...My kind of dark, intelligent humor!

I am happy you visited my blog.

5/04/2005 6:26 PM  
Blogger Jessica said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

5/04/2005 6:51 PM  
Blogger nick said...

u are devious, cunning and borderline evil....can i be ur student oh cunniving one? can i? can i be an extra of ur tv show?
oh and the silence thing won't make crack...again...i promise.

5/04/2005 7:36 PM  
Blogger whatever1003 said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

5/04/2005 7:55 PM  
Blogger Ale said...

waaaw, JR, that's kinda mean-- hehehe--
Tito, LOVE ur Aprentice idea! what should be said to the ones that get fired???

5/04/2005 8:38 PM  
Blogger Susie said...

excommunicated.. duh!

5/04/2005 9:28 PM  
Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

You've got to create some humor in your very stuffy environment. I hope the poor guy took it well.

5/04/2005 9:40 PM  
Blogger cadiz12 said...

will your chosen assistant get to drive the popemobile?

will you even be continuing with the popemobile? are you looking to upgrade to some pimped-out escalade limo with tinted windows?

5/04/2005 10:56 PM  
Blogger whatever1003 said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

5/04/2005 11:19 PM  
Blogger A.T. said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

5/04/2005 11:22 PM  
Blogger Scott W said...

Oh, I would love to be your assistant! At night, when everyone was asleep, I would run naked through the Vatican. Oh, that gives me goosebumps just thinking about it.

5/04/2005 11:59 PM  
Blogger Åñèè§å said...

your really motivated by MTV pope man...

5/05/2005 1:54 AM  
Blogger AP3 said...

POPE'D is a great idea for a show. I still like your "Pope my ride" idea.

5/05/2005 2:42 AM  
Blogger GodlessMom said...

Most Holy Father,

Maybe Axl can be your assistant?

Your servant,
GodlessMom

5/05/2005 2:52 AM  
Blogger Pope Benedict XVI said...

Axl would be perfect. He's not doing much these days.

5/05/2005 3:25 AM  
Blogger dAAve said...

Was it Kramer? Huh, was it Kramer?

5/05/2005 3:25 AM  
Anonymous The Lance Corporal said...

Ho Pope!

Talking about assistants, maybe you are needing a bodyguard. I am quite handy with a crossbow, but am also sensitive and caring. It seems to me that all your bodyguards to date are Swiss and that this is racial discrimination - it might have been OK 400 years ago, but "whites only" policies are just not acceptable anymore in the rest of the world, believe me.

I am not Swiss (thank God)but nonetheless I keep good time and like chocolate, especially the white stuff with the nuts in. Therefore please consider my good self for this important position - remember what happened to your predecessor!

Like Whitney said in the training film, I will always love you.

LC

5/05/2005 1:40 PM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

Hey when you get an assistant, does he get to ride bitch in the popemobile?

5/05/2005 1:59 PM  
Blogger whatever1003 said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

5/05/2005 4:46 PM  
Blogger jevanking™ said...

You seriously are a very very creative and funny person.

5/05/2005 6:47 PM  

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