Friday, April 29, 2005

A Room With a View

I really need help designing my new room. It’s not very homey right now.
When I walk inside, I feel very uncomfortable--like Tupac during his last years with Death Row Records.

Everything about my room makes me feel like I’m living in a medieval castle. I need to brighten this place up with some plantation shudders and a bay window. I also need a new color treatment on my walls. I hate the faux marbling on my walls. It looks so tacky—almost offensive. I’m thinking a moss green paint would look nice.

I also need a mini bar with a couple bottles of Roederer Cristal Rose-Limited 750. You know what I mean?

I’d also like a nice shag rug. I can’t stand walking on the cold marble anymore. There’s just something about wiggling my toes in shag carpet that makes me feel good.


Blogger jam said...

hey! whoever you are, thanks for commenting. gave me a laugh =)

4/29/2005 2:12 PM  
Blogger AP3 said...

I hear ya, Joey. The thing is, you ARE living in a medieval castle! I'd say yes, do the shag rug. Maybe a nice lava lamp. A beaded curtain would enhance your space as well. Good luck!

4/29/2005 2:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do you prefer to be called Joey Ratz or B16?

4/29/2005 2:58 PM  
Blogger Ale said...

You should TOTALY go to Pier One Imports. They're having trow pillow sale right now!!!

4/29/2005 3:21 PM  
Blogger Pastor John said...

i have started a blog. please take this one down, it is not needed anymore.

4/29/2005 3:41 PM  
Blogger Jon L said...

Your Popeness. What is your favorite type of popary?

4/29/2005 3:55 PM  
Blogger Kristine said...

a few flowering plants always liven up a room! I recommend some african violets as they are pleasing to the eye, and since you probably don't have to take care of them yourself, the fact that they are delicate and die easily won't be a problem either! On that note, would a blessing on my blog be too much to ask? Have a popetastic day!

4/29/2005 4:35 PM  
Blogger whatever1003 said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

4/29/2005 4:39 PM  
Blogger dAAve said...

Get it painted!!!

I suppose you know this, but I will remind you that if Leo da Vinci had been a straight man, a hetero, the Sistine Chapel would have been wallpapered.

4/29/2005 5:42 PM  
Blogger nick said...

hi there..u make me wanna believe again.
could u please give me a shout out at the next mass...please.
hope u get u a room that make su comfy in ur -not-so young- age

thank u again for visitin by blog

4/29/2005 6:19 PM  
Blogger imagoner said...

Maybe you could do a show like Trading Spaces? We could trade and you and some of your cardinal friends could fix up my castle and my loyal subjects could fix up your room at the Vat. I'd make sure you get satin sheets (just cause you can't have sex, doesn't mean you can't feel sexy in bed...)and lots of storage space for your holy crap. Just let me know, I'm down for it!

4/29/2005 6:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


You are 78 years old. And you don't appear to be as health looking as JPII. In fact your photos make you look like you almost on death's door! You need to start getting more sleep and exercise. You look worst than my 86 year old aunt.

Drafty castles make you shiver. You need shawls and afghans not shudders! And the Pope's skull cap, okay
let's call "a spade a spade"; your yamikah is not enough.
You need to convert to some sort of shawl like the orthodox bishops wear. Perhaps a wide brimmed hat like the ultra orthodox Jewish clergy wears. You could use a beard and more hair. Both help to keep you warm.

The shag rug will not keep you warm over marble floors. You need persian/egyptian throw rugs which are thicker and much, much warmer. They would also fit the current style setting of your rooms. More tapestries! They keep the rooms warm as well!

And ea, satin sheets? C'mon babe this is the Pope! He rates silk and 7000 thread Egyptian cotton sheets.

4/29/2005 6:33 PM  
Blogger goodnight moon said...

Is there an Ikea in Rome?

You know, I'm a seminary student (that's religious school for protestants). Quite often I'm asked if I'm going to be a nun when I graduate, which is just silly because...well, do nuns even have to go to school? But anyway, we have finals coming up soon, so if you have a chance to break away from your busy schedule, would you please bless my blog? Maybe then I would do well on my exams.

4/29/2005 6:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Peter II sez,

Yes goodnight moon, ikea is swedish so yes they are near Rome. Italy now has outlet malls. Nun's have good
"habits" so they do go to school. In fact they often teach in school.

A blessing? Hocus Pocus Dominocus ... conjuring magic or is the prayer "Hoc est Dominos Nostrum"?

4/29/2005 6:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

MArtha Stewart's out. Maybe she can help. I'm sure they'd take off the ankle cuffs to make a trip to the Vatican.

4/29/2005 7:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Peter II sez,

Hmmm the new Martha Stewart reality show with special
guest star: the Pope! How to run the vatican like a franchise ... (world's first franchise dotcha know). The adventures of young nubile women at the Vatican. Da Vinci code stuff.. hmmm Martha could make a second billion.

4/29/2005 7:29 PM  
Blogger Imogene_Pix said...

Mr. Pope...forget all that re-decoration hoopla... I don't know how to bring this up without sounding rude or indelicate, but I think that you are due for a nice spa treatment. The bags under your eyes, honey, make you look like Uncle Fester with hair. A cucumber eye-treatment and nice facial would do you some good :)

4/29/2005 7:32 PM  
Blogger tuuli said...

hiya Pope!

my friend Tim just posted on his blog wondering what kind of underwear you wear? pleasey please tell! I'm quite interested myself too!

4/29/2005 8:03 PM  
Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

What's this obsession with boxers or briefs? Everyone knows you wear Depends....come on now!

You're just gonna have to suck it up and live in that marble castle with all the old crap everywhere. If you don't, you'll be accused of being materialistic and the poor and needy will lose respect for you. The shoes are really pressing the limit.

4/29/2005 9:49 PM  
Blogger Pope Benedict XVI said...

What would I do without all of you. I'm going to get my place looking pope'd out--thanks to you all. BTW, I wear Depends--and yes I definitely need a spa treatment.

4/29/2005 10:08 PM  
Blogger Josh said...

bump it up to a nice light white and put a couple of lamps and a ceiling fan w/ a light, that should add a brighter touch. please bless my site at!!!

4/29/2005 10:10 PM  
Blogger Grace said...

Your Holiness, many thanks indeed for the blessing of my blog, I feel sort of Holy now. But I was shocked to come across this blog today, I noticed you had posted on it. Aren't you appauled that anyone should dare to speak in your name? I vote we bomb them out?

How dare they?

Your ever faithful servant, Grace (Saint that is, you promised! of blogging, remember?)


4/29/2005 10:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm so going to hell for loving this blog.

Please Pope, keep up the awesome Pope-ing Pope-ness that you do! You are Pope-tacular!

4/29/2005 10:39 PM  
Blogger GodlessMom said...

Most Holy Father, In addition to your new decor might I suggest you consult a Feng-Shui master? I understand that a properly arranged room can help you solve all of life's problems!

Your servant,

4/30/2005 12:23 AM  
Blogger Ms. Pickle said...

dear pope,
i love your blog. but first if you get a shag rug that is okay, but you will need to get a rake because you can't vacumm a shag carpet. but your idea is good.

4/30/2005 1:05 AM  
Blogger akiey said...

Pope Joe, how about getting a mix of decor from your favorite MTV cribs episodes. I suggest a bit from the following peep's houses:
Macy Gray: she has a fab, well-decored house in Cali
Boy George: He's got great art work & furniture
Shaq O'neal: Get his bed & yeah his giant fridge
Dave Meyers(directs many of Missy's videos)has a giant, amazing fish tank & wall unit.

4/30/2005 1:08 AM  
Blogger Pope Benedict XVI said...

Akiey, thanks. I gotta call this Dave Meyers guy. I want him to start directing my television appearances. I think he's just the guy I need.

4/30/2005 3:48 AM  
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10/07/2005 7:31 PM  
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10/25/2005 7:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I say go with the Shag area rug. Shaw Carpet just came out with one that is really long and chunky.

But you need a carpet rake to keep it clean. Try the Shagmag. It's the best carpet rake on the market.

BTW: why does God let bad things happen to good people?

1/09/2006 10:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

God is the cause of good, not the bad. That god-man Jesus is the way to combat the Big Bad It in all it's forms and tricks. Don't forget his Holy Name. It will come in handy whenever you need Him.

Bingo. Old Ohio Catholics always played Bingo and crocheted. Just Ask Pilla. Kept them busy with their hands.

4/05/2006 12:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are asking too much from me. i can't do this anymore. I can't tell you how much I love. I love and I need you to love more. I heal.

4/29/2006 1:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Spring! I think it is time to redecorate, plan ahead, plus decide upon a few other decisions. Why should I be stuck in these recessionary times when there is shopping to be done? Do I choose pine or a composite for the end day and what should I wear? Still thinking of moving to Tuscany...after the probation. But I had the time of my life ... and regrets only a few.

4/09/2008 4:45 AM  
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