Wednesday, April 27, 2005

My Speech at St. Peter’s Square

Some people feel scared when talking to large groups of people. I’ve never had that problem. It’s probably one of the reasons why I was picked to be Pope. Well, that’s just one reason. I’m sure there are hundreds, or thousands, or probably billions of reasons why I was chosen. And I applaud their choice. Well done.

Today, I spoke to over 15,000 people in St. Peter’s Square. It was exhilarating. Most people would be freaking out to speak to so many people, but not me.

To prepare myself, I went backstage and shadowboxed a bit to get into the right frame of mind. I then took a swig of some communion wine to calm down. I said a little prayer and poured out some wine on the ground to respect the memory of Pope John Paul. Much love, much respect.

I think everything went over well. I sure hope nobody smelled my breath. Peace out.


Blogger dAAve said...

Sir / Father

I applaud your Courage in the face of such a task. It is your quiet strength that shall propel your humble servants into the 20th century, someday.

4/27/2005 9:27 PM  
Blogger Dave said...

Your Honor,
I spoke in front of 400 people this past sunday. I am just a mere protestant minister though...Pope, do you ever get that little taste of vomit in the back of your throat before you speak to a crowd? I do.

You are rooting for the Phoenix Suns in the NBA playoffs arent you? I mean Suns = Sons = Son of God = Jesus = Your Boss....I just figured it made sense.

4/27/2005 10:10 PM  
Blogger Virginia Centrist said...

Mr. Pope:

Could you please come bless my blog? I would appreciate it greatly. I posted on the pope recently.

New Pope

4/27/2005 10:41 PM  
Blogger Not Larry Sabato said...

Dear Pope,

Thanks again for blessing our blog once again. We are so grateful.

Our blog focuses on American Elections this year. I was hoping you would make some endorsments of candidates running. In each entry the Democrats are in Blue, the Republicans in Red. Perhaps if you could catch the Holy Spirit and pass along what it is telling you?

Maybe you could call it "Pope's Picks"

4/27/2005 11:52 PM  
Blogger imagoner said...

Hey wait--you not the pope, I am! Oh wait, women can't be pope--darn! But I am a queen in my Realm, so I believe I have the right to speak equally to you given that I don't believe in you religion at all, and you are not important to me. I like your taste in music though--gotta love it! Peace Pope and keep on keepin' on!

4/28/2005 12:12 AM  
Blogger imagoner said...

Congratulations, you are the first non-someone-I-know to earn a place in the Cool Shit section of my blog (pardon me for saying shit please, your holieness--oh shit, I said it again!) This is really funny!

4/28/2005 12:18 AM  
Anonymous Rene said...

um, what the mess? R U REALLY THE EFFING POPE????????? crazy peoples in this world...... well. bless you too!!!!

JESUS is my homeboy!

love Rene

4/28/2005 12:31 AM  
Blogger JunkRock said...

Hi Pope,

i had class the other day and i choked during my presentation BIG TIME. I think you should come give me some 1 on 1 tutoring with the whole 'talking in front of crowds' deal. I hope you charge less than $20 bucks an hour!

Nice blog dude

4/28/2005 12:51 AM  
Blogger GodlessMom said...

Most Holy Father, Your wisdom is truly a breath of fresh air. Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem (smack.)

Your Servant,

4/28/2005 1:05 AM  
Blogger Rich said...

Holy Father:

I am not a Catholic. I am not even remotely RELIGIOUS. But this blog makes me think that miracles really can happen.

You rule, Your Holiness.

Bless me? No! Bless YOU.

Hoping to hear back...

4/28/2005 3:03 AM  
Blogger Tree Elf said...


4/28/2005 3:04 AM  
Anonymous Eddie Griffin said...

Hey my He-ro!

4/28/2005 3:05 AM  
Blogger Tree Elf said...

I mean, I beg your pardon, your Honor, I was totally out of line. I should not have laughed so. AHAHAHHA...err..ahem..ahem...

4/28/2005 3:09 AM  
Blogger Kaci said...

Pope, boxers or briefs?

4/28/2005 3:20 AM  
Blogger From Jell said...

Really nice blog pope, greetingas from Bilbao,Spain.

4/28/2005 3:23 AM  
Blogger Felicia said...

Big up, man, big up!

Love your blog, can hardly wait to see more.

4/28/2005 3:26 AM  
Blogger AP3 said...

You are a very wise choice for pope, Joey, as you'll probably croak within the decade. Congrats!

4/28/2005 3:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Please respect our Pope!

4/28/2005 3:49 AM  
Blogger Pope Benedict XVI said...

Bless you all.

4/28/2005 3:54 AM  
Blogger bschneider5 said...

Hey big B, I have seen you quite a bit amunst my travels on the blogwaves. How many hours a day do you blog,download porn,chat, etc?


4/28/2005 4:04 AM  
Blogger The National Guard Experience said...

Pope, you're hilarous!! Thanks for reading my blog and the Blessing

4/28/2005 4:10 AM  
Anonymous obscure said...

Thanks for the blessing. Keep up the GOOD WORKS.

Jude the lapsed Druid

4/28/2005 4:23 AM  
Blogger Tuppy said...

Funny stuff, keep up the good work =p

4/28/2005 4:42 AM  
Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

Great blog! How do you possibly find the time? Amazingly gifted and you've managed to keep a full head of hair. Wow!

4/28/2005 4:49 AM  
Blogger whatever1003 said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

4/28/2005 4:54 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

I feel so honored that Your Holiness visited my blog! Thanks for stopping by!

4/28/2005 5:12 AM  
Blogger Åñèè§å said...

assallam ul allikium Pope :)
You really think ur the closest to god? If so why do you think this? And also why do Catholics believe this? I just want to have a better understanding of what you’re about…P.S this blog is the most popular blog I have seen…keep it up “pope” LOL

4/28/2005 5:48 AM  
Blogger imagoner said...

My darling Pope--I felt so blessed that you visited my website and gave me your blessing, but I'm afraid I have misdirected you. I didn't have the link to the real me on my profile, and I understand that may have been confusing. I have done away with Midearthseeker and invite you to come and Plod through life with me.

Most humbley yours,
Queen O

4/28/2005 6:00 AM  
Blogger akiey said...

Heeey, what's up Pope!!?
Since you can speak a trillion languages is it okay to meet up & speak some Greek, Zulu, Tagalog, maybe Swahili over a cup of coffee? You got my number so holler atcha boy:))!

4/28/2005 6:26 AM  
Blogger zbjernak said...

Thanks pope for blessing my blog by visiting it...

i am looking forward for your future visit soon...


4/28/2005 6:34 AM  
Blogger radio free zombie said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

4/28/2005 6:57 AM  
Blogger radio free zombie said...

i am in such awe of your beneficent power that i was incapable of proper speech. please, bless us and everyone and may your papacy last many, many years to come...

p.s. - fear not, italian women dig halitosis. your muskiness alerts us to your potent verility...

4/28/2005 7:03 AM  
Blogger Amy Sherman said...

Consulting, really? Is that what they're calling it these days...

4/28/2005 7:15 AM  
Blogger Tucker said...

Pope, you are awesome. I hope the Catholics have a since of humor about this. So far they have not had one about the crusades, but I think they are coming around.

God rocks, tell him I said hey, and much love and fear.

4/28/2005 7:55 AM  
Blogger Delta said...

Dude, I'm planning a trip to Rome early next year, would much prefer it if you could either a) die well in advance of December to give the city time to settle down or b) remain alive until after I've left...I realise you're 78 and it's probably out of your hands at this stage, but I'm sure if you ask The Boss he'll cut us some slack, thanks in advance.

4/28/2005 8:59 AM  
Blogger AP3 said...

Hey Joey,

My sister (dddragon) made a Pope Pez for you:

see Pope Pez here!

4/28/2005 2:54 PM  
Blogger nokas said...

your holliness
thanks for blessing my blog!!
i'm addicted to your blog :)
can't wait to ear from you again!!
this pope rulezzzz!!! **********

4/28/2005 3:03 PM  
Blogger Pope Benedict XVI said...

Aral Peppermint Patty, Thanks for the Pope Pez.
i love it.

4/28/2005 3:05 PM  
Blogger Nick said...

Rock on Pope!

4/30/2005 11:23 AM  
Blogger kidkameleon said...

Hey popeski

Blog on man. Ever get out to parties/nightclubs much? Just want to say I know Italo-Disco was the biggest thing ever for a while there, but there are some pretty great squat/underground parties going on Italia, especially up north, Bologna etc. Don't neglect the good music next time you need to get blinged up, go out and throw down the chips!

5/04/2005 6:07 PM  
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10/23/2005 5:46 AM  

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