My Speech at St. Peter’s Square

Some people feel scared when talking to large groups of people. I’ve never had that problem. It’s probably one of the reasons why I was picked to be Pope. Well, that’s just one reason. I’m sure there are hundreds, or thousands, or probably billions of reasons why I was chosen. And I applaud their choice. Well done.

Today, I spoke to over 15,000 people in St. Peter’s Square. It was exhilarating. Most people would be freaking out to speak to so many people, but not me.

To prepare myself, I went backstage and shadowboxed a bit to get into the right frame of mind. I then took a swig of some communion wine to calm down. I said a little prayer and poured out some wine on the ground to respect the memory of Pope John Paul. Much love, much respect.

I think everything went over well. I sure hope nobody smelled my breath. Peace out.