Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Patron Saint of Malt Liquor

axl rose

I have been thinking about naming Axl Rose as the Patron Saint of Malt Liquor. His intoxicating voice has always entranced me. Like a drunken Che Guevara, he moved masses of people to follow him and believe his words.

The miracle he performed was managing to gather Izzy Stradlin, Duff McKagan, Steven Adler, and Slash to actually work together. Though addicted to every chemical solvent known to mankind, this crew managed to pump out hit records. They were sort of the white version of N.W.A.: a crew destined to fall apart, but managed to produce some amazing songs.

I know that saints are usually named after death, but I think this is appropriate since Axl’s career is dead. Let’s just let the memory of Guns n’ Roses rest in peace.

37 Comments:

Blogger kipepeo said...

i agree...he was his career, so go ahead and saint the man!...while ur at it, can i have a few blessings please? they are much needed!!

5/03/2005 8:48 AM  
Blogger cadiz12 said...

axl definitely deserves a nod of some kind. and what could be a more appropriate toasting beverage than 40 proof?

perhaps we should take a cue from the tabloids and call you 'Papa Ratzi,'?

5/03/2005 9:41 AM  
Blogger Sehbai said...

Yo Pope

This dude is selling an old car on Ebay saying it was owned by you at http://cgi.ebay.de/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=68191&item=4545301886&rd=1

Is this for real? Thats a pretty shitty car you drove back in the day, now look at you all talking Escalada n shit

5/03/2005 9:52 AM  
Blogger actonbell said...

You bring up some good points, sir! A person shouldn't actually have to be literally dead to be sainted, esp. if it's the sort of title that won't be disgraced later on by any possible wild behavior.
So, what do you think about Kurt Cobane?

5/03/2005 12:28 PM  
Blogger Trudging said...

A great choice Holy Father.

5/03/2005 12:54 PM  
Blogger Pope Benedict XVI said...

Trade Junkie, I'm afraid that was my car. I didn't always have Pope style. Forgive me.

Bless you all.

5/03/2005 1:25 PM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

Oh what the hay. You're the pope. You can pull some strings and give Axl his much deserved sainthood.Besides, I think I spotted him on a slice of toast the other day anyhow. That oughta do it.

5/03/2005 1:32 PM  
Blogger Pope Benedict XVI said...

Lucinda, as a big Nirvana fan, I have a special place in my heart for Kurt. I'll need some recommendations for what kind of saint he will be.

5/03/2005 1:34 PM  
Blogger AP3 said...

As always, Pope Joey, your wisdom astounds. By all means, yes, do make Axl a saint. And just THINK of the possibilities for the Vatican gift shop -- this could be a real money maker!

5/03/2005 1:34 PM  
Blogger Pope Benedict XVI said...

Yes, we should make sure that all my Saints get their own pez dispenser. His dispenser should play "Knockin' on Heaven's Door."

5/03/2005 1:37 PM  
Blogger Mama_JunkYard's said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

5/03/2005 3:13 PM  
Blogger Mama_JunkYard's said...

You are so right about Axl.

If could make Kurt Cobain a saint, I would name him be the Patron Saint of Teen Spirit or Teenagers

I have two questions to ask.

1. Please could you make Jimi Hendrix a saint. Not sure of what...

2. I have just redesigned my site...any chance of you stopping over to bless it please?

5/03/2005 3:17 PM  
Blogger Tan Lucy Pez said...

Well, heck, have you named John Lennon Saint of something? I mean, like, he was the greatest. Is there a Saint of Peace? John was into peace. He could be St. John the Peaceful. His miracle could be that he married someone like Yoko Ono. He could have had a young beauty, but no, he wanted Yoko. So he could be Patron Saint of ugly women. We NEED a saint! Think of the Pez possibilities!

5/03/2005 3:19 PM  
Blogger dAAve said...

You are soooo friggin' compassionate I can't hardly stand it.

5/03/2005 3:35 PM  
Blogger whatever1003 said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

5/03/2005 4:10 PM  
Blogger jevanking™ said...

I don't think you could have picked a more appropriate person, Pope...

5/03/2005 4:44 PM  
Blogger Kaci said...

I'm with Czar Tito. Oz would more be the patron saint of narcotics though.

5/03/2005 9:04 PM  
Blogger Farmgal said...

This is hilarious stuff. Please visit and bless my blog. Have just set up. Thanks

5/03/2005 9:23 PM  
Blogger whatever1003 said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

5/04/2005 12:03 AM  
Blogger Grace said...

Saint Axl of the Rose, wow only you could think of that, magnificent! I left you a little challenge on my blog, would you consider it Your Holiness?

5/04/2005 12:07 AM  
Blogger Dark Kai said...

Cool...

5/04/2005 3:48 AM  
Anonymous cam said...

guns n roses are the greatest band that ever lived........

10/06/2005 9:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

GUNS N ROSES IS THE GREATEST BAND THAT HAS EVER HAPPEND TO THE WORLD :)

12/25/2005 5:02 AM  
Anonymous Jay said...

How much would you want to turn in Neil Young's cause? Patron saint of old people hanging in there!

I also agree with the previous comment asking you to canonize John Lennon.

2/05/2006 8:28 AM  
Blogger Steve Gustafson said...

I would have thunk it was St. Ides, already.

6/08/2006 4:19 PM  
Blogger W.a.r. Queen said...

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

>>>How can u demote Mr. Rose from "S-U-P-E-R-G-O-D" to mere saint????!!!
///This is an abomination of the First Order.
MM

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

1/22/2008 10:00 AM  
Blogger SpiderZ said...

http://askthepope.blogspot.com/2005/05/patron-saint-of-malt-liquor.html

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11/25/2009 5:38 AM  
Anonymous W.Q. said...

OH DEAR MOTHER OF GAWD!!!!!
_____________________________
♥ CHERISH THE DEEP LOVE THAT DWELLETH DEEP IN HIS HEART AND SPRING FORTH THE SWEETEST ELIXIR FROM HIS UNDYING SOUL...♥
___________________________
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HnbMYzdjuBs

[[[OF HEAVENLY SAINTLY DESIRES*]]]

12/06/2009 8:55 PM  
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