Vatican Fitness Club

As you know, I want to be a man of the people, so I regularly visit the Vatican Fitness Club to swim and do a little workout among the peasants.

Yesterday, I was sitting in the Jacuzzi with 4 other men when the bubbles stopped. Everyone looked at me (since I was closest to the big red button) and wanted me to get out of the Jacuzzi to turn it back on.

Not only was I tired, but I’m Pope, too. Why should I have to get out of the Jacuzzi to turn it back on? Why can’t one of those guys get out and do it? Besides, what’s wrong with just sitting in murky, warm water without bubbles? Are the bubbles even necessary?

After about a minute, one of the guys looked at me and politely asked me to turn the Jacuzzi back on. The three other guys looked at me and I started fuming inside.

I’ve never considered becoming a Baptist until that point. Thoughts of baptism by submersion seemed like an appropriate doctrine at that moment.

I imagined my thin, frail arms trying to hold that tough guy under water. I might convince him by telling him that I was Pope and wanted to give him a special blessing. I think I could hold him down for 15 seconds, but that’s about it. Not long enough to make him pass out.

Oh, well.

I ended up just ignoring him and looked at my toes. I like to wiggle my toes in the Jacuzzi.