Thursday, May 05, 2005

First Class Pope

When I fly, I refuse to sit in first class.

I like to think of myself as a man of the people, so I sit in economy class among the common folk. This gives me a chance to mingle with the peasants and talk about subjects they are interested in (like NASCAR and Arm Wrestling tournaments).

To improve my popularity, I refuse all drinks and food while flying. I tell flight attendants that I’m neither hungry nor thirsty, and to please divide my peanuts and drinks among the rest of the passengers. They deserve the food more than me.

On red-eye flights, I sit in business class. I don’t like drool.


Blogger whatever1003 said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

5/05/2005 5:41 PM  
Blogger dAAve said...

I assume you fly Air Italia from The Vat. Sucker.

Try some of the new European low-cost alrlnes. Even the pilots fly coach.

5/05/2005 6:22 PM  
Blogger jevanking™ said...

That's very generous of you. I hate red eye flights too...

5/05/2005 6:45 PM  
Blogger Farmgal said...

You are truly a humble man!

5/05/2005 6:50 PM  
Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

I'm overwhelmed by your sacrifice!

5/05/2005 8:00 PM  
Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

Even times, you must leave the driving in the hands of others!

5/05/2005 8:13 PM  
Blogger Trudging said...

“Time” magazine reported in its May 9, 2005 edition that before the College of Cardinals convened you prayed to not to be elected pope. Is that true?

5/05/2005 9:05 PM  
Blogger AP3 said...

Peanuts are nice... but how about loaves and fishes? Huh?

5/05/2005 9:14 PM  
Blogger Grace said...

Well I think you should have have your own Papal Plane with the crest on the side, a well stocked bar, music and films of your choice and some pretty air hostesses to pander to your every whim. Traveling that close to God you should do it in SYTLE.

5/05/2005 9:22 PM  
Blogger dayna said...

I hope I'm on a flight with you sometime.
Free drinks and peanuts, woo hoo.

5/05/2005 9:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you are so mean that is the meanest thing ever dont make fun of the pope

5/05/2005 10:57 PM  
Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

"you are so mean that it is the meanest thing to make fun of the pope."

The way I am reading this blog, it is not in any way meant to mock, make fun or or laugh at the Pope. You are right. That would be mean. What I see being done here is taking an extraordinary person, who is given similiar powers and responsibilities, and parodizing him in ordinary live. This is cleaver, intelligent humor, not mean-ness. This is just my humble opinion.

Although I will say, the pressure is on now Joe to make even more creative posts! Enough of the drool.

5/05/2005 11:41 PM  
Blogger actonbell said...

I agree that this is clever parody--I mean, it is so UNREAL to be pope! Your blog makes me laugh out loud! Thanks

5/05/2005 11:56 PM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

Has anyone on the plane ever refused your peanuts and drinks? Cuz I'm thinking if I was on a plane with the pope and he offered up his grog n' ale, I'd be too scared it was his version of the last supper or something. You may want to reassure people first. Just a thought.

5/06/2005 12:03 AM  
Blogger dayna said...

*LMAO* @ "you are so mean that is the meanest thing ever dont make fun of the pope "

5/06/2005 1:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


5/10/2005 12:30 AM  

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