Friday, July 29, 2005

Keep Your Pope Hand Strong

Things have been pretty stressful in the office. I have to deal with a certain employee who doesn’t like my management style. I’m going to bring him into my office today and talk with him.

If he doesn’t improve his attitude, I’m going to have to slap him with my pope hand. He needs to know that if anyone disrespects me, he or she will get the pope hand.

Not only do I have a strong pope hand, but the rings on my fingers probably add a good sting too.


Anonymous billy said...

you gotta do what you gotta do

7/29/2005 5:24 PM  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

You should turn your pope ring around if you pope slap with your palm. If you prefer the backhand method, then do not mess with the ring.

When other employees see your personal seal on someone's face, they will quickly fall into line. There will ne no doubt who was the smacker and who was the smackee.

7/29/2005 5:31 PM  
Blogger Grace said...

Ouch! All power to the Pope hand!

7/29/2005 6:13 PM  
Blogger hooey said...

Progressive Change is coming. The latest in a continuing line of RepublIca'nt defections is none other than W. H. Frist MD, the Senat Majority Leader (P'ton, Calss of '74). Read more...

7/29/2005 6:48 PM  
Blogger jamwall said...


7/29/2005 7:23 PM  
Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

Bitch-slap him! You've gotta keep order around there.

7/29/2005 8:13 PM  
Blogger Tan Lucy Pez said...

Whooo baby! Tough love. Rock on.

7/29/2005 8:17 PM  
Blogger Bulworth said...

Bad employees, broken coffee makers, evil HR directors seeking blood.

I was wondering how you are with computers? I hate it when I'm playing music on windows media player and then I click on a website that cues a music track so that both it and my original music play at the same time.

I hate that.

7/29/2005 10:16 PM  
Blogger Redhead Gal said...

Is it Cardinal Law? I hope so. He deserves a bitch slap, several of them, after what he did in Boston. The previous pope gave him a cushy job instead. Go get him, Pope Joe!

7/30/2005 2:34 AM  
Anonymous sinner said...

Hope he doesn't end up filing a grievance against Your Holiness. Grievances = lots of meetings and forms to fill out. Might not be worth that slap after all.

7/30/2005 5:22 AM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

Why don't you just turn him into a pillar of salt? Never mind. Nobody likes a rerun.

7/30/2005 2:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree with the lazy iguana. Once the ring imprint is seen you will start to see how far your powers will reach. It really will only take one sacrifice to keep the other sheep in line. I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say if you could manage to get it on video and post it that'd be cool also. I'd pay good money to see Joey Ratz bitchslap a cardinal.

7/30/2005 3:21 PM  
Blogger ANGEL ANTHONY said...

Dear Pope,
Do not be discouraged. I will be with you. Be prepared for Kuln (cologne) Germany. Hundreds of thousands of young people will meet you there. Feed them with the Word of God. Satisfy their hunger for Jesus. Set their hearts on fire for the Lord.
All people are waiting for you.
We love you
Angel Anthony

7/31/2005 2:32 AM  
Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

I am curious: Does the Pope have to ask for forgiveness or is it automatic?

7/31/2005 1:56 PM  
Anonymous The Pagan said...

Dear Mr. Pope,
While I agree with Lazy Iguana, whoami929, also brought up a valid point. In light of your church's recent lawsuits for priests molesting alter boys, is it really in YOUR best interests to have to pay off an assault suit? Just something to think about.

7/31/2005 2:12 PM  
Blogger Annie said...

Just call it a vigorous "laying on of hands".

8/01/2005 1:27 AM  
Blogger ANGEL ANTHONY said...

The Pope goes to confession at least twice a month.
He confesses his sins to a priest.

8/01/2005 6:37 AM  
Blogger Shiroh said...

Keep whipping em

8/01/2005 8:16 AM  
Blogger AP3 said...

That seems a bit harsh, I must say.

8/02/2005 1:15 AM  
Blogger jamwall said...

that would be more appropriate for slappin' some pimp "mo'-fo" upside his mufizzin' head!

8/02/2005 4:41 AM  
Blogger JBlue said...

So, Your Holiness, how exactly are you keeping the Pope hand strong? Are you exercising it in some way? Regularly?

I love your blog. You make my day.

8/02/2005 8:17 PM  
Blogger Leege said...

It's definitely a more civilized punishment than past popes. Innocent III and all those guys used the rack and whippings, so this is progress.

Totally awesome insanity.

8/03/2005 6:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That seens like the 'Godfather' thing!
I agree that you have to show him that you are the boss but make that in another way less 'italian'

8/04/2005 8:34 PM  
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I love coffee and did a keyword search on gourmet coffee and came up with your site. The association was close, anyway. Take care! Dave

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