Wednesday, August 03, 2005

My nails grow extremely quickly, so I have to get manicures on a weekly basis. Some people might think it’s a bit lavish to get manicures so often, but they don’t understand my job. I give people communion on a regular basis. My hands must look clean. Nobody wants to take communion from a guy with dirty cuticles.

18 Comments:

Blogger dddragon said...

You're exactly right ~ having well-taken care of hands is very important in your line of work!

8/03/2005 2:14 AM  
Blogger jamwall said...

the "lee press-on nails" people need to come up with a version for pope's and cardinals!

8/03/2005 2:58 AM  
Blogger Saur♥Kraut said...

I definately believe in manicures and perfect nails~

8/03/2005 4:08 AM  
Blogger Redhead Gal said...

Thank you for being so considerate, holy father. Now could you do something about the shared cup of wine? Not very hygienic, you know.

8/03/2005 5:11 AM  
Blogger Redhead Gal said...

dixie cups might work.

just a thought.

8/03/2005 5:11 AM  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

You should have your manicure people paint little crosses on your nails.

You know, for extra holiness.

8/03/2005 5:30 AM  
Blogger resless guy said...

yea,..thats' a good idea pope,..

8/03/2005 9:03 AM  
Blogger dAAve said...

Your Holiness

Somewhere I read that fingernails and toenails grow much faster when a person is horny.
hmmmmmmmmm...

yours in service
HP

8/03/2005 11:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you are hilarious pope.

8/03/2005 12:05 PM  
Blogger actonbell said...

I expect that of course The Pope has well-manicured nails.

8/03/2005 12:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

With all these grooming problems, Holiness, how do you find time to take on the big problems in the world? You know, wars, terrorism, nonbelievers, that kind of stuff. Inquisition minded followers want to know.
:-)

8/03/2005 1:27 PM  
Blogger Pink Lemonade Diva said...

you could multitask and get the mani pedis while you're hearing confessions! The kneelers make really great footrests!

8/03/2005 6:01 PM  
Blogger Anna said...

lazy iguana- LOVE the air brushed crosses idea!

pink lemonade diva- also LOVE the multi-tasking confessions idea! I'd totally go!

Please Note:
All Employees Must Wash Hands Before Returning to Work

8/03/2005 7:27 PM  
Blogger Pope Benedict XVI said...

What are your thoughts on henna?

8/03/2005 8:27 PM  
Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

Hopefully you get them buffed and not polished. A Pope with shiny, lacquered nails just isn't right.

8/03/2005 10:37 PM  
Blogger Elizabeth Green said...

You probably just want to go to the nail salon to check out the Asian babes.

8/04/2005 12:28 AM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

Highly Powered makes a valid point ~ and for that, we must forgive him.

The nail thing ... do you still issue Communion by way of the little round wafer? Cuz if that's the case, it's not very sanitary. I'm sure your fingers must touch a tongue or two now and again. Bleh... then you're passing on all those germs to the next person. How about some latex gloves. I don't think the body of Christ would mind much, really.
If you dish out the piece of stale bread and cup of wine, then I'm with redhead gal. That's even more "ew." My old church switched to the dixie cup thing years ago. Just a thought.

8/04/2005 12:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'll have to keep that in mind abs exercise

10/24/2005 11:57 AM  

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