Wednesday, November 02, 2005

My Portrait is on Sale!

my portrait
Originally uploaded by Joseph Ratzinger.
I just learned that my portrait hasn’t been selling well. This is very disappointing.

What's wrong with it? Is it my smile? Is it the way the picture is cropped? Do you think I need to lose some more weight? Should my hands be in a different position?

To hopefully increase sales, Ignatius Press decided to put my picture on sale for $42.45.

If we don't get some more sales out of this, I'm going to be deeply hurt. I feel very insulted right now.


Blogger Itsa Secret said...

They discounted the Pope???

11/02/2005 5:48 PM  
Anonymous Martin Luther said...

Maybe you should show a little skin!

11/02/2005 5:49 PM  
Blogger Udi said...

how about buy one, get one free

11/02/2005 7:14 PM  
Blogger Bulworth said...

Yes, but, your Holiness, your books are selling like hotcakes.

11/02/2005 8:14 PM  
Blogger John said...

Is it a sin if I need to remove my John Paul II portrait in order to have room to put yours up? (I try to lead a modest life)

11/02/2005 8:48 PM  
Anonymous sinner said...

Blame the invisible hand of the free market. There are quite a few photos of Your Holiness at good prices on eBay, and some nifty Papal string party lights going for $8.00.

Plus there is way too much white in the picture. Try a dash of color!

11/03/2005 4:11 AM  
Anonymous g005 said...

I must say, that's one of your better pictures, your Holiness. You look kinda cute. But I also agree with Martin Luther, perhaps showing a bit of skin may help?

11/03/2005 4:19 AM  
Blogger dAAve said...

Your Holiness

Your flock above offer fine suggestions. Maybe you should try listening to the flock instead of the mp3 player in your Escalade.

yours in service

11/03/2005 11:40 AM  
Anonymous The Pagan said...

Dear Mr. Pope,
Perhaps you should try appealing to and connecting with your younger flock. How about some 'dope'flashing of gansta signs? Barring that you could be shown holding a Snickers Bar to appeal to the alter boys. I'm an idea kinda gal.

11/03/2005 10:16 PM  
Blogger JBlue said...

You keep wearing that same dress. We've already seen you in it here, there, and everywhere. That's the problem. Hey! You got a whole page in Newsweek this week. I think they sort of like you. Go you!

11/04/2005 2:23 AM  
Blogger Tan Lucy Pez said...

Your Holiness,

I think I see the problem: that picture looks just like you. Try another face. You must have two. Right?

11/04/2005 2:29 AM  
Anonymous redheadgal said...

Your holiness, you look better in red. Witness your blog picture in the red and gold. A little more contrast with your hair. Goes better with most people's decor.

11/04/2005 4:55 AM  
Blogger Anna said...

My church recently bought one, so that's one for you!

11/04/2005 3:36 PM  
Blogger Saur♥Kraut said...

Do what the supermodels do: Have someone airbrush it up a bit...

11/04/2005 3:40 PM  
Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

I think you look just fine. The only things I would change is I'd have you giving the peace sign and tuck your ears back a bit.
You're a real looker! Don't you forget it!

11/04/2005 6:20 PM  
Anonymous garden kitty said...

Dear Mr. Pope,

I think you should try different backgrounds for your pictures. Like at the beach, a pool hall, Bavarian mountains, a cattery...whatever. The point is you have to appeal to your target audience. Ask your photographer. I'm sure he knows of these things.

garden kitty

11/04/2005 9:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are young, you are beautiful an you are mine.

11/05/2005 12:22 AM  
Anonymous Mr. Baldo said...

Some would ask, "What would Mr. Baldo do?"
What would I do?
I'd shine my Bald. With my wax. A free "WWMBD" bracelet with every container.
Now with Phlogiston®!!
Baldo's Shiny Wax™ for Balds. Available at your friendly neighborhood drugstore.

11/05/2005 12:45 AM  
Blogger Aimless Penguin said...

i want one of those bracelets...

11/05/2005 3:51 AM  
Blogger Time Bandit said...

you should do a timeless art of seduction pose

11/05/2005 4:28 PM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

I dunno Joey. It almost seems like you have a look on your face that reflects altar-boys gone wild or somethin. I hope that's not it but just sayin.

11/07/2005 8:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

















10/21/2009 8:55 AM  

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