Not only am I working hard to be a good Pope, but I’m also trying to secure my sainthood by performing a miracle.
This can be especially difficult when almost all my time is swallowed up with meetings and/or prayers. You should see my Outlook calendar; it’s completely filled up.
The Bible says, “There is no rest for the wicked (Isaiah 57:21),” but I’d also like to add, “There is no rest for the holy, either.”
I’m constantly busy, and I don’t even look forward to weekends anymore. And, as Debbie Deb says, “weekends were made for fun.”
I really should have taken a look at the job description before taking this job.
Anyway, I need you to help me think of a miracle to perform. I want to do something unique.
Most Holy Father,
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your dilemma. Most of the truly good miracles have been taken. Perhaps you could combine your love for vending machine food with your miracle? If you bless certain machines perhaps you could make them produce an endless supply of treats, free of charge. You could place a machine in famine stricken areas, thereby eliminating hunger!
Your Servant,
GodlessMom
It is a miracle that you are still alive.
ReplyDeleteHoliness, may I suggest you free Katie Holmes from the clutches of scientology and tom cruise! That would be a miracle worth doing..
ReplyDeleteYou could obtain a restraining order against intrusive guardian angels.
ReplyDeleteor
Save someone who doesn't even wear Prada.
or
Come up with a really nice outfit to wear to a maiming.
Your Holiness
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, it's a miracle you haven't been caught with your pants down (yet).
It's a miracle you haven't blown the engine in your Escalade, what with the lead doors and bullet-proof glass adding all that weight.
Leae well enough alone.
yours in service
HP
How 'bout fixing Michael Jackson's face for good?
ReplyDeletePerhaps a really good card trick?
ReplyDeleteHoly Father, your miracle should be giving Bush a brain.
ReplyDeleteOr legalize weed. whichever you find to require less effort.
In light of the above comment, I look forward to the legalization of weed.
ReplyDeleteUse Miracle whip
ReplyDeleteHow about making all the countries of the world 1 big country or 1 mass of land...that way when loved ones go away we wno't have to worry about how we'll see them or if we need a visa to see them etc.....I think you should make that ur miracle that way everyone is happy....
ReplyDeleteFactor in your failing health and old age, and pity is the norm rather than the extreme!
ReplyDeleteBlogging as anonymous for fear of persocution and hate posts on my other blog...
ReplyDeleteHeres what u do: read the book Eutopia, make the whole world exactly like that. And ur set. I can't rememer exactly but I think maybe everyoenes athiest in Eutopia, so i guess u'd be out of a job. But whatever, peace.
www.Ourlives-behindthescenes.blogspot.com
Saddam has recently requested that his trial be moved to California. Wonder why...
ReplyDeleteIndeed, all the good miracles have already been taken.
ReplyDeleteHmm. I don't know what to tell you.
How about offing Ashlee Simpson?
ReplyDeletePretty please??????????
I think all the miracles mentioned in here are too big for starter miracles.
ReplyDeleteI recommend you start small, and then build up.
Some people would consider it a miracle if you'd sell even a fraction of your hoard at the Vatican to help the poor and needy. It might be a start...
You could make everyone an equal on the planet by erasing everyones credit files. OR . You could make all the Earths oil dry out so we wont have to fight anymore wars.
ReplyDeleteRPM
miracles don't count toward sainthood until AFTER you are dead.
ReplyDeleteYou could convince the USA to make a law forcing everyone to go to church on Sunday so that we can all have rest and family time. In doing this the whole world will come to peace. Isn't that what you want to hear???
ReplyDeleteI could use a miracle . i really want to go to brooks instute of photography but it would take a miracle for me to afford it . it would be a dream come true
ReplyDelete